458 Bobby Mesmer

Jeffrey Feldberg: [00:00:00] What does it take to turn a $3.5 million loss into a multi-billion dollar empire? Meet Bobby Mesmer, a serial entrepreneur whose life reads like a masterclass in reinvention, resilience, and raw determination. Raised in the farmlands of Southern New Jersey Bobby launched his first construction firm in 2000.

Then the unthinkable, his largest client, defrauded him of millions, plunging him into a $3.5 million loss. Most would've folded. Bobby rebuilt.

He went on to create RMG Erectors and Constructors, the world's largest pre-engineered metal building erector and erects over 5 million square feet annually, and is redefining an entire industry through bold vertical integration. But Bobby's vision never fit in one lane. He launched Iron Wheel Racing, a championship winning Motorsport team and RMG Luxury Services, a company disrupting the high-end [00:01:00] travel experience.

Wherever he sees inefficiency, Bobby builds a category defining solution twice named a Philadelphia Titan 100. And a three time ink, 5,000 leader His track record is unmatched, but it's his grit that sets him apart in 2021 life tested Bobby, far beyond the boardroom, a tornado destroyed half his home, a heart attack and stroke, left him partially paralyzed, then came Felty Syndrome, a rare autoimmune disorder attacking his bone marrow.

In 2024 a second stroke caused him half the vision in one eye. And yet he came back. Bobby fought his way to full mobility, managing his health with infusions ,discipline, and an unbreakable will. His journey redefines what it means to lead, not just through strength, but through surrender, clarity and courage. This is a story about turning pain into purpose, building empires that endure and [00:02:00] proving that the hardest moments can reveal who we truly are. This is more than a story of business success. It's a study in courage, clarity, and the relentless pursuit of something greater than survival. Legacy.

And before we hop into the podcast, a quick word from our sponsor, Deep Wealth and the Deep Wealth Mastery Program. We have William, a graduate of Deep Both Mastery, and he says, I didn't have the time for Deep Both Mastery, but I made the time and I'm glad I did.

What I learned goes far beyond any other executive program or coach I've ever experienced. Or how about Bruce? Bruce says, before Deep Wealth Mastery, the challenge I had with most business programs, coaches, or blogs was that they were one dimensional. Through Deep Wealth Mastery, I'm part of a richer community of other successful business owners.

The idea shared forever changed the trajectory of the business and best of all, the experience was fun. And we'll round things out with Stacey. 

Stacey said, I wish I had access to the Deep Wealth Mastery before my liquidity event, as it would have been extremely helpful. Deep Wealth [00:03:00] Mastery exceeded my expectations in terms of content and quality.

And you know what, my Deep Wealth Nation, why they're saying this is because Deep Wealth Mastery, it's the only system based on a nine figure deal. That was my deal. And as you know, I said no to a seven figure offer, and I created a system that we now call Deep Wealth Mastery that helped myself and my business partners, welcome from a different buyer, a different offer, a nine figure exit.

So if you're interested in growing your profits, preparing for a future liquidity event, if that's two years away or 20 years away, and you want to optimize your post exit life, Deep Wealth Mastery is for you. Please email success at deepwealth. com. Again, that's success, S U C C E S S, at deepwealth. com. We'll send you all the information about Deep Wealth Mastery, otherwise known as Scale for Ultimate Sale. That's where you want to be. You want to be with other successful business owners, entrepreneurs, and founders just like you who are looking to create market disruptions.

And they want to lock in their financial freedom and have success and fulfillment. 

That's the [00:04:00] 90 day Deep Wealth Mastery Program. It has your name on it. All you need to do is take the next step. Send an email to success at deepwealth. com.

Welcome to another episode of the Deep Wealth Podcast and Deep Wealth Nation let me ask you this. When it comes to your business, when it comes to you, your leadership, your team, are you resilient?

Do you think you have it tough?

And when it comes to success of where you are now and where you want to be are you getting there or are there some speed bumps, some pitfalls along the way that you'd like some insights?

We're gonna be covering all that and a whole lot more because we have a very special guest in the House of Deep Wealth.

We have a fellow entrepreneur, a thought leader, someone who is showing us what success is all about and incredibly resilient. Bobby all that said, I'm gonna cut it short. Welcome to Wealth podcast. An absolute pleasure to have you with us. There's always a story behind the story, and you have quite the story, Bobby, so what's your story?

What got you from where you were to where you are today?

Bobby Mesmer: Jeffrey, thanks for having me. This is fantastic. I love being here. Totally loaded question to start. Long questions, but fine. Let's dig into [00:05:00] it. How did I get here? Trials, tribulations, heartache, heart attacks, strokes, tornadoes, you name it. It's been part of my life journey, to get from where I was to where I am.

And, so let's dig in. 25 years ago. Started my business and successful re ups and downs. I'm in the construction industry, right? Everybody has ups and downs in this industry. I tell people all the time, if you're not almost bankrupting every three years, you're not doing something right, because that means you're not taking risk.

It means you're not failing forward. It means you're not, growing your business the way you should because you're not taking the risk. You're getting comfortable. So I had those ups and downs and and I'm very proud of that and, the downfalls that I've made or the mistakes because I would've never learned to continue to grow myself and grow my business the way I have if I didn't have myself in a position of failing to, to take those things and learn from them.

So, grew the company [00:06:00] started other businesses that I have sold in the course of continuing to grow this company. RMG, directors and Constructors. That's the main par of everything that we're doing. 2015 took a big business, hit, lost millions of dollars based off of some who, wants to screw me over and you know, do a bunch of work for, and he just basically says, Hey, screw you. I'm not paying you. And, what am I left to do? That was a big hit. That was, you take that and you're, when it's millions of dollars, I don't care how much money you have, because what happens is when it's a $2 million hit or an over $2 million hit, you're now pulling $2 million outta your reserves and or your personal pocket because you still gotta pay the debt to get away from lawsuits and hurting yourself even more.

So now it's a $5 million. Loss overall. And in some cases, I don't care if you're a $50 million a year company, $5 million that's your profit. And so, at the end of the day that puts people under, I. And so I had that learned from that experience, and what's the key factor there? Eggs and baskets. [00:07:00] That's what I tell everybody. It's eggs and baskets. In that situation where you, I had too many eggs in one basket. I was too dependent on that one relationship and that one contract where 80% of my work was contained within that one person. So when they did what they did.

Business failure is gonna happen. And so, so we moved past, it continued to, restructure the company. Regrew continued on where we were. And 10 years later we're the largest pre-engineered direction company in the entire world. We're one of the top five largest steel purchasers in all North America.

And we just continue to, we're the only vertically integrated company in all of North America offering a and e services, fabrication services, detailing services that and then steel erection services all throughout the whole in the steel business, we've now extended that into a and e services doing full design build for customers where we're their architect or engineer, and then still providing steel services along with construction administration, construction management.

[00:08:00] So we've diversified, but again, 10 years. Great. Oh, yeah. You know, Here I sit, I'm the largest at this and I'm making money here, and we're growing there and we're doing this, well, let's rewind a few years ago, right? 2021. I. A tornado hits my house in New Jersey. Out of all places, every, I tell everybody that nobody will ever wants to believe me they're like a tornado in New Jersey. Yeah. Well, come take a look at my property. You know, After it was done, it was something else and I. About a month later I ended up having a heart attack and then a major stroke during the recovery of the heart attack while I was in the hospital, lost the whole left side of my body and then, fast forward to 20.

Three, I think it was 23, I got diagnosed with Felty syndrome which is an advanced form of ra, which basically felty where your body attacks your bone marrow and kills off your bone marrow. So you know, that's something I'll never be cured of. I'm on infusions now for that. And just to keep it into remission, it's it's not [00:09:00] cancer, but it's like.

Dealing with it with cancer you get the infusions to keep it in the remission. So I, dealing with that blow. And then, you go to last year, 2024 about this time almost a year ago, I had another brain stroke just out of the blue and had two blood clots basically go to my left eye, one on the vein side, one on the artery side.

And I'm half blind in the eye now. And so, but here I am. Right? I say to everybody look, here I am. All this stuff has happened to me in a very short period of time. And I'm still doing, getting up every day. I. Pushing myself operating business, saying,, this is what I'm doing.

This is the world that I'm living in, and this is the hand that, that I got dealt. But I'm not using it as a crutch saying, whoa is me. I'm using it to empower myself and empower myself to create my legacy, to build my business bigger to create the legacy that I want for myself in this business and in this world.

And then to also, I'm [00:10:00] using it to educate people. To educate them. that if you have the will, you can survive. If you have the will, you can succeed. You just can't use it as an excuse and as a crutch.

Jeffrey Feldberg: My goodness, Bobby, there is so much there. And I firstly want to thank you for being so open and being so vulnerable. And Bobby, as you're talking about your story of what's going on in the back of my mind, I'm thinking to myself, actually, I'm seeing this vision where. You are the successful entrepreneur, like so many people on this podcast that are coming on or listening in a Deep Wealth community, and then life throws you a huge curve ball and you're now lying in bed and it's not just your health that's offside.

Your life is in the balance. And in that scenario, what did you realize about who is Bobby? what am I really all about? What was going through your mind at that point in time?

Bobby Mesmer: I could tell you, and I'm not scared, I'm not afraid to say it, [00:11:00] but I was scared. I like I'm a big guy, like I'm a big presence. You know, I'm a six foot 4, 280 pound guy. Like, I walk into a room, like I command the room. That's just me, but I'm a joyful guy, right? But I've always thought of myself like a machine.

Like I've always looked at myself that I'm a machine, I can do this, I nothing can stop me. And that's how I've acted. And that's like there I've always pushed through everything. This was the first time I got put down and couldn't do anything and I was scared, I was terrified. because you don't know how you're gonna come out of this.

You don't know what the outcome on the other side is going to be. Room full of doctors fills up, We're in the hospital bed after the heart attack, and then after the stroke, and I'm in the hospital bed, my wife is sitting there next to me and 10 doctors fill up the room and I'm like, wow, this is a great hospital.

This is amazing. And my wife's like, 10 doctors in the room is not good. and that's when you start to realize oh, there's something more going on here. So, I was scared. First time in my life. I was scared of anything. So that was number one.

And I [00:12:00] realized it was okay to be scared. I realized it was okay to have and face your fears because it's not about facing them, it's about the mindset in which you face them and how you come out on the other side from them. And for me personally. I put my family in perspective.

I put my life into perspective, but I also put my legacy into perspective. And sometimes I feel like that's selfish, but it's not because always say to everybody how can I be good for anybody else if I'm not good for myself? How do I do what I need to do for everybody if I'm not being good for myself?

 I knew that I had to continue to push on. I knew that I had to continue to move through the other side of this. It was just a matter of how and what that looked like. And a lot of people said maybe it's time to step back. Maybe it's time to slow down. Maybe it's time to change paths and.

I can tell you that wasn't for me. I said no to all of that. And there was a lot of hard conversations. My wife wanted me to move back a little bit and step back and I told her [00:13:00] no. And that was hard conversations to have together. And because she doesn't wanna lose me and I don't want her to lose me, but I.

Have things that I need to do. I have things that I need to finish. And thankfully, she's a good woman. So she understood that, she got it. So she was supportive of me, but she also wanted to keep a watch on me and make sure that, okay, if you're gonna do this, I need you to do these things over here too, which is change my lifestyle, changed my diet, changed my health journey, all that.

So, so I think, at the end of the day, again, it was face to fear. Determine where I wanted to go and then follow through with that path. And that's what I'm trying to do. A lot of people stick their head in the sand, rightfully so. I'm not criticizing them for that. A lot of people won't continue on because their, the fear sticks with them.

I use the fear to energize me into propelling me forward and saying, I'm doing this and it doesn't matter. I'm not stopping.

Jeffrey Feldberg: As you're saying that as you [00:14:00] walked into these health challenges, if we put that off to the side for just a moment, it's an integral part of your story, but just for a moment off to the side and we look at the business side, I mean, my goodness, you've been named tight. And 100 for the past two years in a row.

In Philadelphia, you have a company valuation in the billions, and it keeps on growing. You've been this hard charging entrepreneur. It doesn't take no foreign to answer. You're working your way around failure. You've had your ups and downs. And then at a very personal level, you have the health challenges that come on.

And I know, speaking for myself, Bobby, also as an entrepreneur, when I would hear, well, our first Wealth is our health. In the back of my mind I'm saying, yeah, whatever. I've got some things to do and I'll get to it when I get to it, until you don't. And things happen and it puts a whole new perspective on that.

So as this incredibly successful, hard charging entrepreneur who's built. Wow. What an empire along the way. How has that changed or has [00:15:00] it changed in terms of how you look at business from what you've been going through on the health side? Now, I.

Bobby Mesmer: I think it changes. It makes you slow down a little bit for sure. it allows you to, at least for me, it's allowed me to reevaluate how I go after business. Not everything is a necessity, right? I guess, let me say it that way. When you're in business and you're trying to grow and you're trying to make something happen with your company, everything's a necessity.

Everything's a rush. Everything is, I have to negotiate this in the way, maybe I give up a little bit in the negotiation in order to get the contract. For me, I feel like it has changed a little bit where I've become a little bit more shrewd in that process because. I've looked death in the face a little bit here.

You know what I mean? So for me, I'm like. This is what I'm offering. Take it or leave it. Or this is how we do it, this is my process. I think it changed it, it allowed me to settle more into that, which I find to be better for business.

It has really propelled us a little bit [00:16:00] further because I feel like people understand it, they respect it, I think is the right way to say it. They respect that I'm like that because I'm no nonsense and I've always been a no nonsense guy. There's never really any gray with me.

I'm very black or very white. The in between I don't deal with, but I noticed that it's a little bit more. A black and white for me. And I feel like that the people respect that 'cause they know exactly where I'm coming from. They know exactly what they're gonna get outta me. And that's that.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And so from that perspective, leadership and growing company and combining the two of those, you've been a master at that. Has that changed for you in terms of how you look at that or how you would approach it or your philosophy towards that? I.

Bobby Mesmer: I don't know that it's really changed the philosophy of it. I take a lot of pride in how we've. How we've built our company with our people. The family atmosphere that we've maintained, even through the tremendous growth that we faced. We still have that family dynamic. And we're always very attentive to the needs of our people.

So I don't [00:17:00] know that the leadership style has changed because I respect. Everybody. It's a we, right? It's us. It's not me. I work for the company just like everybody else does, and so I'm just the final decision maker is really what it comes down to. But I'm no more special than anybody else in, within the organization.

So I think we've always had that. We dynamic that it's all of us. You know, It's the village, that helps raise the child. So the business is the child and we're all the village. Together helping grow this into and mature this into what we all desire it to be. So I think that's always been a piece of our culture.

I don't know that the situation has changed that leadership style for us because, or at least for, from my perspective it may have made me a little bit more patient with people with certain things, but I don't know that it's created like a big dynamic shift that would've needed to happen.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And when you look at your journey, what a phenomenal journey it's been. There's an old saying that success really isn't the best teacher. Success is great and it's a lot of fun. And wow, when it's there, [00:18:00] it is there. I know for myself, from my successes and there's been big successes, it's not necessarily where I've learned the most.

It's been failure, and that's a hard experience. You're going through that, and that's been the better teacher of the two, not the one I prefer per se, but is the one that's taught me the most. What about yourself? When you look back at your journey, Bobby, and you look at. Perhaps some of the setbacks, the failures, as some people would call them.

I call 'em opportunities, the failures or opportunities. Are there any big takeaways that you can share with us of lessons learned along the way? I.

Bobby Mesmer: Yeah, I think your biggest lessons are in anybody is to embrace your failures. We live in a world and a dynamic right now where with social media and everything else that's going on, everybody's so caught up in success. What car did I buy? What house did I buy? How much money did I make this week?

What clothes am I wearing? It's all bullshit. It really is. It's all nonsense and bullshit if you ask me. And because, half of them, it's all lies. And that's the one thing that people have to remember. Like everything that [00:19:00] people are putting out there, 90% of it's all bullshit.

And all lies. And I know that and I'll give you an example. We have our own jet within the company. and it's for business travel and we own it. It's and it's staffed by us. And we get people that call us who represent influencers so they could take pictures on our jet to act like they're utilizing the jet.

You're an idiot because you're creating a bad perspective to everybody. I think that people need to more focus on their failures and on not what they're doing. Because that's what I like. I'm okay with talking about my failures.

I'm okay with talking about the bad decisions I made in business or the things that hurt my company, or, what set us back or what set me back personally and what it was because. Just like a baby. You have to crawl before you walk. And in life and in business, you have to do all the same thing.

You have to crawl before you walk. You can't learn anything without having setbacks. And as long as you're reflecting on those setbacks, as long as you're evaluating what happened, and you understand and you take responsibility for your piece in it. That's [00:20:00] the other problem that of today's day and age we live in is everybody wants to point the finger at everybody else.

Look. The person that screwed me out of the money 10 years ago, I had a play in that I made decisions too. He did what he did and he hurt me the most. But at the same time, I had responsibility in that. And the second that I realized that propelled my growth, it propelled my ability to move forward and move my company into bigger and better places when I started taking responsibility.

So I think that, for me, all of the heartache that I've been through from that scenario to again, to the heart attacks, to the strokes, to, what did I do to contribute to those things? Now somebody's gonna say, and somebody listening to this is gonna say, wow, that's a naive statement.

What do you mean? What did you do to contribute to a stroke that you had or a heart attack you had? I had some play in that. Whether I was too stressed, I ate wrong, I didn't exercise enough, what it was my responsibility to put me into that position reflection last. Every way in every [00:21:00] capacity in life.

no matter what you're doing, you have to stop and answer those questions. You have to be real to yourself. And when you're real to yourself, that's then what's gonna move you forward aggressively and put you into a position of success. And then it's also about turning around and, and understanding how you can help people.

That's a big thing, that I realized and I was a big one for. Always helping, but never receiving help. I never wanted anybody's help. What I realized is I'm taking away that blessing that person is trying to give. I'm taking away their ability to want to help me and what that can do for them by helping me.

So I've had to learn and try to restructure myself to be more open with. allowing people to give to me or allowing me to receive from somebody no matter what that is and everybody has an issue with that. People will stop and say that they don't, but they really do. 

Jeffrey Feldberg: Yeah. Yeah. Talk to us about that. I am the same way. I will helps I, if it means giving [00:22:00] the shirt off my back to help someone, no hesitation, I'll do that. I love helping people, making a difference out there when someone comes, Hey Jeffrey, how can I help you? What can I do for you? I just clam up and I'm good.

Nothing. Thanks so much. So how do you, or what did you do? To open yourself up to, okay, yeah, you know what? I could really use some help here, or, thank you. I'll accept that. What was it like for you in terms of that mental mindset or chatter inside of being able to receive.

Bobby Mesmer: It's hard at first, it's hard because when you're used to always like saying, no, I don't need anybody's help, or, no, I don't need that from you, or, it's hard at first. And I don't, and I still, even to this day, I don't know how to feel when somebody does help me.

Because then I feel obligated oh, you helped me with this. Oh, now I have to do something for you. Then that's the problem, so when you do allow somebody in, you feel like you have to turn around and now do something for them again.

And so for me it was a matter of number one, realizing I was doing it and actually took a friend of mine that hearing him speak [00:23:00] about it to realize I got that problem too. Like and then when he explained it to these, to the same way that I did, where you're taking that blessing away from them.

That hit hard to me. I was like, whoa, I never realized that i'm taking a blessing from them. That really hit hard. That was like, that made me think, because I'm a spiritual guy. I'm a godly person. I love God. I believe in God. I'm a man of faith and I. So like when I realized that, I'm wow, am I affecting them from the, spiritual world?

I know I'm going a little deep there, but am I affecting them from the spiritual world? 'cause I'm not allowing them to get blessings because, they're trying to get blessings through helping people. And that's where it hit me. And so I worked, so I made the conscious effort to start working on it.

The first time I did it, I was like, the first time that somebody wanted to do something for me, and I did it. I swear to God, I was in like a cold sweat. And I had to really refrain myself from like stopping myself from wanting to do something back for them, or, and it was, it took a lot for me just to say thank you and leave it at that.

Not overexplain myself, not overdo it. [00:24:00] and like I remember it took me like, a week. All I could think about was that interaction for like a week. And I'm like, I gotta do something. No, I, no, you can't do something. Well, I, I need to thank him again. No, don't thank him again.

My God. I feel like I was like a cartoon, like talking to myself, devil and angel on my shoulders. it was really difficult and it still is, and it gets easier over time and I always have to remind myself too, that hangup has more to do with me than it does with them.

And reminding myself of that situation That it's more about me. That's, that has the issue or is creating issue than it is about them, allows me to really restructure my mind and take that acceptance of what it is. And then remember in the blessing piece like that they're, the satisfaction that they give for helping somebody who, whether I need the help or not.

The satisfaction that they're getting out of it is so relevant and so important. And once you start settling in that how much satisfaction they're getting by being able to help you, [00:25:00] then that starts to make you feel better about it and you start to open up a little bit more and a little bit more.

I.

Jeffrey Feldberg: That's a great explanation and. I completely get it. I never got it before. When people would say, Jeffrey, when someone gives the grace is say thank you. That's it. Say thank you. It takes a confident person to say thank you, someone who's comfortable in his or her own skin. Thank you. You don't need to put anything else after that.

And to your point, when we don't receive, we're denying that other party. Gift I've given. 'cause I know how I feel when I give. It feels great. Oftentimes the giver receives more than the receiver and we're denying that, so I'm completely there with you. Circling back though, failure, it could be on the business side, it could be on the health side.

Was there one particular incident, Bobby, where you look back, it's a failure, but that was really the beginning of your breakthrough that gave you such insight or motivation from what others would view as just a fatal situation. But you took that [00:26:00] and like the phoenix rising from the ashes.

Yeah. Okay. It's a new day. Lessons learned. I got it. Finally got it. I see it. It's clear I'm going for it. Or if it wasn't that, was it a series of Failures along the way? What was it?

Bobby Mesmer: Yeah, it was definitely the series right over 15 years of business and it was a series of, the ups and downs culminating into the one big failure that I had 10 years ago. That big hit that I took. That was the culmination right there. What was interesting about that though, is.

At that moment, after I got through my anger and I got through, my hatred and wanting to go beat this person with a baseball bat, and all those things, when I started to really dig down and reflect on the situation, I really was able to look back at everything and look at my path that the path that I was on and all the failures that I had, including with all the successes.

Were set [00:27:00] up to put me exactly where I was and lined me up to be in that position, to move myself forward for the future. I could look back and see the roadmap. I could see it plain as day in front of me that. Everything I was doing and everything I went through was to put me exactly where I was.

I literally could see it. It was amazing to me. It was such a revelation that I was like, oh my God. Like this is what I was meant to be. This is where I was meant to be, even though I hated where I was at the time. I was meant to be there and then move myself forward from that pivotal point.

And what I also realized in that was that I was forcing. Everything in my life up until that point. To, and I needed that break. Like basically God cut me off at the knees 'cause he was done with me. Not done with me, like throwing me away. Like he was done with my nonsense of bucking against the system per se, where he finally was like, this is what's [00:28:00] gonna take you down and this is what it is and I'm gonna take you down so you realize where you need to be, where I really want you, and where you need to be going.

It was so eye-opening and so awakening to me that again I sat there and I can see every single point and how things interjected in my life over the 15 years prior that put me into a position to now lead me into where my business is going over the last 10 years, up until now.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And for the person that was involved in that incident that really robbed you, if you will, from the outside looking in. Did you forgive?

Bobby Mesmer: I would say I forgave him. Yeah. If I saw him, I wouldn't punch him in the face, you know, I think a lot of people would call me crazy, but I don't know that I forgave oh my God, I love you. Forgive you know what? I'm not like, look I'm aggravated at you still, but you gave me a new hope and you made me better.

you were a means and a tool to be utilized to create the success that I've made over the last 10 years. So for that, I thank you.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Bobby, I don't wanna put words in your [00:29:00] mouth and you may say, Jeffrey, you're on base. Jeffrey off base. When we look to a situation, it's very personal. Whoever's said, business isn't personal, it's never been in business. They've never experienced it. Everything feels personal. When we have a situation like that, what are your thoughts on, okay, let me look at, firstly, something I wouldn't have chosen, but it happened. I'm gonna, to your point, own the accountability of, okay, how did I play a role in this? But then also to your point, your thoughts on, okay, what are the lessons learned here? I don't wanna repeat this.

Don't want this to happen again. How can I take this? Have it make me a better entrepreneur, a better person, a better leader, take my company to the next level from some lessons learned and. Really change the context of the situation into something completely different. Yeah, I wouldn't have chosen that, but that said, it's probably one of the best things that ever happened to me because of A, B, C, and D.

Thoughts about that? I. .

Bobby Mesmer: people get angry. They stay angry, right? So the takeaway that I can give everybody who's listening is, look you have to find a way to move past it. Because if you [00:30:00] unpack and you live there, all you're doing is hurting yourself, and you're allowing that person who hurt you or whatever they did to you, you're allowing them to win.

You're allowing them to stay, to keep control of who you are, what you are, where you're going, whether that's personally or in business. So you gotta get yourself moving past it. Don't unpack, don't live, move past it and pick yourself up. I always say pick yourself up by your bootstraps.

Get yourself moving forward and moving on. It is hard to forgive people to forget to, it is tremendously hard but if you realize that you can be the better person and the bigger person by reflecting on it and coming out on the other side and thinking of them like a stepping stone, because that's truly what they are, if you're gonna propel yourself forward from something that happened to you, they are a stepping stone in your world.

And so if you're able to move yourself forward, you find that bit of indifference and that will allow you to, whether it's forgive them, maybe it's [00:31:00] not forgiving of them it allows you to get yourself into you know, a more, a stronger position.

To control your own destiny as allowing other people who are doing these things to you, to control you themselves. And that's the problem we get caught up in, in what people are doing. Look, I just had a customer. He's trying to beat us outta $3 million right now. I. He's a scumbag.

He's literally standing behind a a specialty designation in the government contracting world to try to do this to people. And I'm sure he is not just doing it to me, he is doing it to other people. and he brags that, you know, I watch your step.

I'm a disabled veteran, so don't mess with me. Well, how about I respect our veterans? But if that's the way you're gonna act, you trying to stand behind that there's probably a lot of disabled veterans who would love to be in your position and that's what you're doing.

So, am I mad about it? Sure. I'm mad about it. You can tell my whole body language and attitude just changed. So what am I supposed to do with that? Nothing. So I'm suing you and I'll let the chips fall where they may, but I'm moving on.

And at the end of the day, you'll get yours [00:32:00] and I know that you're gonna get yours, but this happens. This is what I mean. You can't get away from this in, in this world. People are gonna just do this. you gotta grow some thick skin. I. And you gotta be able to move up and over it and look at and say, okay.

one of the first things I did with this situation is I sat down, I got with some of my team and I said, what did we do wrong? What can we do better? And what can we implement moving forward to not be in this position again? And that's what you have to do. And at the same token, this guy, He'll run across me again. And when he does, he's gonna be sorry. And that's just, because I'm gonna take business away from him. I'm already lining that up. I'm gonna destroy him. I'm gonna take every piece of business away from him, and I'm gonna destroy his business.

Why?

Because I'm a bigger company. I'm more powerful than him and I can, so I'm gonna go after the work that he's trying to go after, and I'm gonna take every bit of it away from him. Is that me forgiving and forgetting? No, but it's also, I also look at it like maybe I'm here to teach you a lesson, because I don't want you screwing over everybody else.

'cause I can take the hit. [00:33:00] But if I wasn't the company and the person that I am, the other people that you're doing it to, you're gonna bankrupt and you're gonna ruin families and lives.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And you mentioned and completely agree, really, you're a titan of business out there, Bobby. You're not just a company out there, you're a titan of companies out there doing your thing. When it comes to business, when it comes to Wealth making an impact, how do you define enough and what does that look like for you?

I.

Bobby Mesmer: What does it look like when you have enough? Is that's where we're at.

I. 

Jeffrey Feldberg: you know, what is enough for you? Is it enough 

Bobby Mesmer: I think that's relative, I think the immediate mind in that question goes to money. And I don't think it goes to money for me, and I've gotten criticized by saying that to other people before because what's happening is it puts us in a position where, people say to me.

Well, you have money, so it's easy for you to say that money isn't the object of being enough or not enough. And, 'cause for me the enough, or, I'm working towards legacy. That's where I'm at. I'm trying to build a legacy here. I'm trying to [00:34:00] be, I wanna be the biggest, the best and the most admired business in my market segment in the entire world.

That's what I want to be. The money is a byproduct. The money's always a byproduct, or at least should be when you operate a business. I tell people that all the time. Keep your head down, focus on the work. The money will just show up. If you're focused on the money, the work doesn't show up unless you have no money.

so everybody wants to focus on money, and I think that's wrong, and I've never took business to that extent. I don't focus on the money to be honest with you. And so I think what's enough is. Enough is when, people have recently started to compare me to the Carnegie of the modern day steel world.

Enough is when my name is synonymous with Carnegie. Then my legacy is cemented of where it needs to be and, what I've created in this world. The money's just a byproduct. I'm still a normal guy. I'm still a humble guy. I'm not driving around in big fancy cars and living in mil, you know, multimillion dollar mansions.

I [00:35:00] live pretty modestly and I live, try to live below my means and that is what I'm proud of. That is what I'm proud to do and proud to be because. I could go buy whatever, but it doesn't matter well, who's it for? Who am I buying it for if I'm not buying it for myself?

You typically like guys that go out and buy Ferraris. Okay. I've owned a couple, but for a short period of time because they're good cars, but just wasn't for me. what are you buying it for? Most of the people I know that own Ferrari don't like 'em. They like the attention they get when they go pull one up somewhere in 'em.

so enough is, I think it's a relative statement. I think everybody needs to start changing their enough to, to the goals not, and not the monetary goals. It needs to be the bigger goals of what you wanna leave and what you wanna do.

Jeffrey Feldberg: It's interesting, Bobby. I completely agree with you, and in some ways I'm gonna use another F word offline. We're talking about the F word fun, and now I'm gonna use the F word fair. It isn't fair because for people who haven't crossed that finish line with a lot of zeros behind them. Absolutely. Yeah.

Jeffrey, Bobby, it's easy for you guys to [00:36:00] talk about that. You have all these zeros in the bank. What would you know? Well, we do know because we've been where you are, but when you do cross that finish line, some of those cliches, they're really not cliches. Money doesn't buy happiness. Yeah, money greases the wheels for sure.

It makes life smoother. It can make life easier. It's not gonna make you happy. Happiness comes from within and you can buy the shiny objects. There's always someone who's gonna have a bigger shiny object and a better shiny object. It's gotta come from within. And in fact, it's interesting. In our Deep Wealth Mastery program, Bobby, we look at, actually, we look at the very end, at the start, step zero.

Okay, you sold the business, your post Exit life. Let's start with that now, where does that go? And we have some experts in the community who focus on this, and they did a recent survey. And the survey came out, they asked very successful Postex Exit entrepreneur sold their company regardless of what they sold it for.

When they asked, is this enough money? So whether they had gazillions of dollars in the bank or less than that in the bank, they all more or less said the same thing. They wanted three [00:37:00] to five times more. It was never enough, regardless of how many zeros they had. It's part of the human condition. And so what I'm hearing you say is, yeah, hey, sure money's great, but that's not what drives me.

It's my legacy. In your case, I really wanna make a difference out there. I wanna pay it forward. I want to be a positive force out there in the world with what we're doing, but also beyond that, how am I doing with that?

Bobby Mesmer: Yeah, I think you're right. to go back to what the entrepreneur said. You're judging and you're asking for people who are always striving for more to ask like how many more zeros they want. Of course they're gonna say more, because as an entrepreneur owns a business, the successful ones, there is never enough.

And it's not about, again, it's not about the money. There's never enough time. There's never enough business, there's never enough takeover. There's never enough companies to buy. It's never enough. so as much as they say they want five times more, I understand that sentiment, and I think you do too.

And they all do because we're successful because it's never enough, I think the [00:38:00] money is definitely enough because we're all, we all become money wise, and we know how to value our money and spend it wisely. And you get to a point where you're. Outside of that collection phase, like when you're a new entrepreneur, let me go buy the new cars.

Let me go buy the boat. Let me go buy these things a second home. And and then when you get out of that, you're like, what did I buy all that for? I wish I had all that money again because of things I could have done with it. And then, I think there's something to be said there that people should listen to.

Because again it's. People should understand when your entrepreneurs in your program are saying that they should listen to the bigger picture of what they're truly really saying it's never enough. Because that's a true entrepreneur always thinks that way, I can do more. I can be more. And then, you know, you talk about like money buying, happiness and it's such an argument, right?

agree with you that money can't buy happiness, but it buys the comfortability to allow you to be happy because you're not sitting there stressed on how you're gonna pay your mortgage and all that. It's a fine line there. some people get that and some people don't. It buys comfort.

[00:39:00] That's all that it does, and it's not an extreme amount of money that you need to buy comfort. What people need to learn to do is live within their means. That's the problem. People go out and buy houses that they can't afford, and they put two BMWs or two Mercedes in the driveway, and they have no furniture in their house, and they can't afford food.

And like you're hurting yourself because you're trying to keep up with the Joneses. I'd rather see somebody who makes you know, between them and their wife, maybe makes $200,000 a year, live in a modest home, have modest cars and be able to afford and put savings away because that's the true.

Entrepreneur spirit that family is doing, but they're just comfortable in working for other people because they're not comfortable with the risk, but they have the entrepreneur spirit in my mind because they're living below their means. They're budgeting their money appropriately, and they're allowing it to go further as opposed to, again, going back to what I said earlier, buying for the people that just don't give a damn about.

Jeffrey Feldberg: That's so true, and it seems like we've, without making judgments, I guess, am making a judgment, it seems like we've lost [00:40:00] our moral compass, our north. Star in how we live. So how do you live, Bobby? How are you? Someone who literally, you could go out and buy whatever you wanted, you choose not to wisely, and you're living well below your means.

Any tips for the Deep Wealth Nation of how you're doing that?

Bobby Mesmer: Yeah, I I think, again, don't get caught up in the nonsense of what the world's telling you, the social media's telling you. It's so easy, it's so easy. You get on TikTok, you get on Instagram or Facebook and you're seeing what other people are doing. You're like, I wouldn't do that, and I could do this.

And just remember, it's all bragging rights anymore. That's all it is. So, so keep yourself grounded. Really keep yourself grounded. Know what money you make and budget yourself. Budget. Live on a budget. I talk to so many people, they have no budget at all. They just pay their bills. Well, do you know what your bills are?

Like? You should know every single one. Write it down, put in a spreadsheet. Understand exactly what your bills are and how much money you have to make to live. You're running a small [00:41:00] business in your household. That's what you're doing. You have so much income that comes in. You have so much expenses out, the rest is what you do with savings and or whatever else you wanna do with it.

You have to set a budget. People don't do that nowadays. And part of it is because we lost that like probably 20 years ago, 25 years ago, they stopped teaching that in school. They stopped, teaching you how to, I'm a big advocate of, Hey, let's get back to showing kids how to balance a checkbook, how to open up a checking account.

How to save, one of the things we taught our sons when they first got jobs. We have older sons now. One's turning 21, the other one's turning 18, but when they first got jobs years ago, first thing I said to 'em, 20% of your pay that you take home comes off the top and goes into savings.

And they looked at me like I had six heads and I'm like, 20% goes into savings live off of everything else. And because you're gonna wish you had that 20% when something happens with your car or when you're older and something happens with your hot water heater and this and that. You don't have to live off the credit cards.

It is very easy to do [00:42:00] that and budget your life that way because then when you're living off the other 80%, you're budgeting off the 80%, you're, you have a savings that's just building up and building up. So I think that people need to get just re-grounded. You don't need to buy big, fancy cars.

Everybody wants to go out and buy a fricking Mercedes right now, like in A BMW and what are you doing? We just bought two new company vehicles and I was on Monday and I was at the KIA dealership and we bought two KIAs for the company. It was company vehicles for people.

And one of the things I was looking at while I was there that KIA has this real nice four door sedan, sportsy kind of car. I don't even know what it was called, but it was really nice and the sticker price was $26,000. I'm like, I would buy that freaking car. It's a nice car for 26 grand. And people rather go and be like, because they have a status symbol because they want the star on the Mercedes, on their emblem.

What are you doing people? And ground yourself, set yourself up for success. It's so easy. You don't need the big [00:43:00] house. I say that all the time. I live in my master bedroom, my living room and my kitchen. I don't need another 10,000 square feet or surrounded around that, that I don't go into for what, and so I think that people just missed a boat on this because everybody's too much into what they have and what they think they can have.

And then when they get themselves into trouble they're complaining and they're. Blame it on everybody else. Well, how about blame it on the bad decisions that you made to get yourself there?

Jeffrey Feldberg: That goes back to some of the wise advice that you're sharing with us earlier. And so Bobby, we're a few questions away from our wrap up, sadly. A few questions away from a wrap up. There's so many questions I haven't yet asked, but let me ask you this question. I. What do you think your best guess, the most misunderstood thing about you?

Bobby Mesmer: don't know. I don't, I like to think, I like to walk around thinking that I'm not misunderstood at all. You know? I mean, I'm sure if you ask my wife or some other people, they'll tell you different misunderstood. I think that when people first see me, I think there's a misunderstanding. Again, I'm a big guy.

I, I got my tatted up on my arms, up and down [00:44:00] all the way to my hands. I got a tattoo on my neck. I think people look at me and they don't know what to make of me at first, and really, I'm just a big teddy bear. Know, I'm I'm a Joe, full guy. I like to smile. I like to laugh. I like to have a good time.

And when it's time for business, it's business. When it's time for fun, it's fun. but I'm not, some hard ass biker guy, although I do ride motorcycles. But I'm not some hard ass who's just an angry, angry guy. And I think that's one of the things that's misunderstood.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Fair enough. And Bobby, I know, I can tell you there are countless questions. Questions that I would've loved to ask. I haven't had the chance. We've bumped up again some time. That said, is there a question I haven't yet asked or even a, a theme topic or message we haven't covered that you'd like to share with us before we go into wrap up?

Bobby Mesmer: I think just for everybody who's listening out there, I think, look, I always like to talk about takeaways, right? And I. For everybody. The takeaway is, is, you are good enough, you can do it. Doesn't matter what heartache is in front of you. [00:45:00] Get yourself in the mindset and go do it.

Doesn't matter what it is. And if that means you want to go out and start a business, go do that. if you want to do something with your personal life, whatever that may be, go do it. If you're questioning yourself, stop questioning yourself. Stop letting other people hold you back by telling you that you can't, because you can.

And it doesn't matter what you've been through. It doesn't matter. Look at everything that I've been through and I'm still going. If I can do it, you can do it. I am no different than you. We are all the same person. It's just a matter of what we believe in our minds. So believe in yourself.

Believe that you can do it, and go and try and do it. Don't have the regret of saying, man, I wish I did, because you can't ever get that back.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Yeah, that's such great advice and actually. It's a perfect segue for wrap up. So it's a tradition here on the Deep Wealth Podcast where it's really my privilege, my honor, for every guest. Bobby, I ask the same question and it's a fun one. Let me set this up for you. When you think of [00:46:00] the movie Back to the Future, you have that magical DeLorean car and it will take you to any point in time.

So the fun part, it's tomorrow morning, Bobby. You look outside your window. Not only is the DeLorean car curbside. The door's open waiting for you to hop on in which you do, and you're now gonna go to any point in your life, Bobby, as a young child, a teenager, whatever point in time it would be. What are you telling your younger self in terms of life lessons or life wisdom or, Hey Bobby, do this, but don't do that.

What would it sound like?

Bobby Mesmer: Oh man, that's a good question. I mean, How long do people think about this one for?

Jeffrey Feldberg: Take all the time that you need.

Bobby Mesmer: no. I mean, Wow. I can think of so many moments. I think I would go back. here's a vulnerable moment for me. I remember being in like. Fourth grade and I was a little special from the smart standpoint and kids started calling me , brainy, They would make fun of me that way. And I remember getting really upset about that one time. It just hit me I was [00:47:00] tired of being teased for being smart or for trying to be smart, for trying to be the best that I could be.

And I remember. crying in class because of that, and I think I would go back to that moment and be able to tell myself, this is temporary. Don't let this stick with you. Take this and use it as fuel, which I probably did to some extent, but I also feel that the fact that I'm sitting here at 49 years old and I still remember that, obviously has stuck with me to some capacity.

So I feel like I would go and just tell myself this piece doesn't define you. It's not defining who you are. Pick your head up. Don't worry about those kids, and keep doing what you're doing. 'cause I can tell you that I did change and I wasn't so engaged in it anymore because I got teased And did that change the trajectory in my life?

No, did it have an impact? Yes, but I don't know that it had the impact that changed trajectory because trajectory moves constantly. But it was definitely a situation that, [00:48:00] that I think affected me to some capacity. And I feel if I had that pep talk to myself, I would definitely be even more different than I am today.

Jeffrey Feldberg: I like that you're really saying, Hey, a situation doesn't define you. Just keep on doing what you're doing. Maybe use it as jet fuel. Have it propel you forward, but don't let it hold you back. And Bobby, we're not too far off age. Wise and being on this journey called life. I would imagine though it's probably a whole lot harder today with social media and how easy it is for people to bully each other, and I just can't even imagine.

So some great advice for the DePaul Nation, and speaking of advice, Bobby, someone in the DePaul Nation, they have a. Question for you. They wanna speak with you. They want you to come in, speak to their organization. I know you're an incredible speaker, and you cover these wonderful topics that every one of us can learn from and hear.

What is the best place online someone can reach you?

Bobby Mesmer: Yeah. Anything on social media, so Bobby Mesmer on Instagram, Bobby Mesmer, or Robert Mesmer on [00:49:00] LinkedIn. I can't. One, I think it's Bobby Vera on LinkedIn. And then same on Facebook and on TikTok. Those are the best places. Send a message. My social team will make sure that I get it and we'll get back.

I try to be very responsive to anybody who. wants to consult with me, wants me to mentor them, wants me to speak at their company, or or a company function. We try to be very proactive and help people. 'cause that's what this is about. It's, it's the giving back piece.

So yeah, contact me there, please. I'm open and happy to discuss and listen to what anybody needs.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Deep Wealth Nation the great news here. It doesn't get any easier. It's a point and click. It's all in the show notes. It's all there for you. That said, Bobby, congratulations. It's official. This is a wrap and as we love to say here at Deep Wealth, may you continue to thrive and prosper while you remain healthy and safe.

Thank you so much. 

Bobby Mesmer: Jeffrey, thank you so much. Appreciate you.

Jeffrey Feldberg: So there you have it, Deep Wealth Nation. What did you think? 

So with all that said and as we wrap it up, I have another question for you.

Actually, it's more of a [00:50:00] personal favor. 

Did you find this episode helpful? 

Have you found other episodes of the Deep Wealth Podcast empowering and a game changer for your journey? 

And if you said yes, and I really hope you did, I have a small but really meaningful way that you can actually help us out and keep these episodes coming to you.

Are you ready for it? 

The dramatic pause. I'll just wait a moment. Drumroll, please. Subscribe. Please subscribe to the Deep Wealth podcast on your favorite podcast channel. When you subscribe to the Deep Wealth Podcast, you're saving yourself time. Every episode automatically comes to you, and I want you to know that we meticulously craft Every one of our episodes to have impactful strategies, stories, expert insights that are designed to help you grow your profits, increase the value of your business, and yes, even optimize your post exit life and your life right now, whatever you want that to look like.

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So all that said. Thank you so much for listening. And remember your wealth isn't just about the money in the bank. It's about the depth of your journey and the impact that you're creating. So let's continue this journey together. And from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for listening to this episode.

And as we love to say here at Deep Wealth, may you continue to thrive and prosper while you remain healthy and safe. 

Thank you so much. 

God bless.