462 Frank Carone

Jeffrey Feldberg: [00:00:00] And before we start this episode, a quick word from our sponsor, Deep Wealth and the 90 Day Deep Wealth Mastery Program. Here's Jane, a graduate who says, and I quote, the Deep Wealth Mastery Program prevented me from making what would have been one of the biggest mistakes of my career. I almost signed on the dotted line with an unsolicited offer that I now realized would have shortchanged my hard work and my future had I accepted that offer. Deep Wealth Mastery has tilted the playing field to my advantage.

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Deep Wealth Nation. Welcome to another episode of the Deep Wealth Podcast. Let me ask you this. When you're looking at your success, and I know where you are now to where you wanna be, Deep Wealth Nation, I want to have bigger success, more success. How are you doing that? Are you doing that? Are you losing yourself in the process?

And here's my loaded question, what if there was a better way? What if you can learn from someone who's been in the trenches, who's been in different roles, been there, done that, that can help you? Really provide how you work smart, not hard. Well, that's what we have in the House of Deep today, a very special guest.

Frank, welcome to the Deep Wealth Podcast. An absolute pleasure to have you with us from a fellow thought leader, entrepreneur, [00:04:00] author. You name it, you've done it. And I'm curious, Frank, there's always a story behind the story. So what's your story? What got you from where you were to where you are today?

Frank Carone: Well, first of all, thank you Jeffrey, and it's really great to be here and looking forward to a robust conversation. you know me like most people are always a little bit. Shy and uncomfortable talking about your life experiences. But people I found find some interest in learning how we get to where we are and what obstacles we overcame.

And I've often thought about that. And for the purpose of today's discussion, I kind of. We'll begin a little bit about where I was raised and what that meant for me. Foundationally, I call it sort of like life levels of experience, and each one sort of built a foundation block to put me in a place as a adult where I'm able to problem solve and quickly critical think through things in a calm manner.

But growing up in a, section of Brooklyn called Canarsie was really. Pivotal for me to start, and why do I say [00:05:00] that? It was a real gritty neighborhood and you had to learn sort of the school yard, negotiation tactics, which is survival in the school yard. And learning how to get by in that rough, community helped me frame that tenacity and, street sense.

That built that initial foundational block as a child. And then of course, going through my educational career and then obviously fighting through the officer's candidate school in the United States Marine Corps gave that sort of, Hey, wait a minute, anything's possible. And I recall coming from training in the Marine Corps and thereafter studying for the bar exam and, weighing the two in my mind and saying, wait a minute, here we are.

Sitting on couches, reading books in preparation for a bar exam. And I just came out of a, bootcamp where they forced you to excel beyond your fears and your expectations and still achieve a goal. And it gave me a good frame of mind that, you know. Yes, this is possible.

[00:06:00] Yes, I'm not going to at all get stressed about it. And there was a word we used in our leadership training called Bearing Staying Calm. So that would be the second really level of change in my life from growing up then through the Marine Corps, and then ultimately as a lawyer for 30 plus years, particularly extensive litigation learning vicariously through clients' experiences, both positive and negative and.

Having the empathy to really identify with your clients such they become so close to you and really deeply learning their issues and then framing your own thoughts based on their experiences. I mean, my, my dad who died many years ago would always tell me, you learn not only from your own experiences, but from others, and I certainly did that.

As a lawyer. And then finally with the opportunity to represent the Adams administration with the building of the team initially after eight years of a previous mayor. But to build a team Abio, develop a culture and accomplish [00:07:00] large, projects in the city in a short period of time, and essentially be the number two behind the mayor was a great privilege for me.

And taking that all together really put me in a position where anything's possible and, hey, it's the greatest city in the world. I had a chance to essentially be part of a team that ran it. And the rest of my life experiences. Put me in a place where I am today where I feel there's no problem, that can't be solved.

There's not a problem. It's not an opportunity in disguise, so put me in a right frame of mind that I'm very grateful for.

Jeffrey Feldberg: I absolutely love your background and your story, and as we're talking offline, thank you so much for your service doing what you did with your sacrifice so we can do what we do. And Frank, I wanna ask you this because what you're doing at Oaktree Solutions, and by the way, deep Wealth Nation, please go to the show notes.

All the links are gonna be there, including Frank's book and pick up a copy. Everyone wins The Ultimate Guide To Optimize Your Business Relationships And Achieve Financial Freedom. Who wouldn't want that? But in terms of what you're doing right now from, as you mentioned, litigation support, you also help with [00:08:00] crisis management.

You are in the government side, you're on the business side. You're helping CEOs and the C-Suite and leadership. Look at different ways of how do we get from here to there? But let's take a step back for just a moment. As you shared some of your background growing up and those experiences, is there any one particular experience or a particular memory that as you look back now, put you on the path to do what you do today?

Frank Carone: I had a, an uncle, I who suffered with cystic fibrosis, he had one lung. He never was able to have a clear gasp of air his entire life. Yet he never didn't smile and woke up every day grateful. And I had a grandfather who fought in a battle of the bulge on the general pattern. So I always remember these experiences and say, wait a minute.

Let's be realistic about where we are and this incredible opportunity with, an abundance of diverse people around us. So it's really the collection of my life experiences, but using others, suffering and empathy and do an empathetic eye to give me the right perspective to deal with problems as they arise in a calm thoughtful [00:09:00] manner.

Jeffrey Feldberg: It's interesting as you say that, and because of your perspective, because of where you've been. And what you've done, I'm curious. Unfortunately, it seems when people use the term or the word power, it's really been taken for me anyways, outta context and a bit of a negative connotation. But when you get to really the root of it, of what it does, it can be a wonderful thing.

That said though, based on what you've done and where you've been frank, when it comes to power, what do you think that we're doing? People in general, or could be even the entrepreneurs. Really anyone. What do we consistently misunderstanding about how Real power works? What would you want us to know?

Frank Carone: Yeah, it's, it's a it's a great question and it's, it has negative connotations. You know the word, the word power, but really it's a. Privilege and the only way any individual can either have power or utilize power. I think the right way of looking at it is it's being, influential and credible, that folks listen to your thoughts in a credible manner.

And that's powerful. If you have [00:10:00] people who will respond to you. If people don't respond to you, then power can be nefarious and it's just forceful. And it's funny, there's a book that I read often as a young man called the Science of Getting Rich by Wallace Waddles, who's a philosopher.

And he talks very much in the book about not to, you know, power to influence people for your own objectives is inherently wrong with power to express ideas that get followed and add creativity so that everyone could benefit from that is noble. And that's how I, look at power.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And so when we're looking at power, and to me it's a perfect segue for your book. Everyone Wins, and again, deep Nation, go to the show notes, click on the link. Firstly, I love how you took this whole concept and you have a few different parts. You talk about the winning mindset. I. And the everyone wins process, which it seems is just missing today.

Not just from business but from life. And then in another section you're talking about, well, when it gets harder, and then what you can do to always be getting better. And you're talking about some success tips, but let's go back to the winning mindset. And it's no [00:11:00] coincidence, Frankie, in our flagship program, the 90 Day Wealth Mastery Mindset.

It's one of our nine steps. It's actually step five winning mindset. But putting that off to the side, I would love to hear from you. When we talk about mindset, what would you want us to know that we probably don't and what should we perhaps start doing that perhaps were not when it comes to having the right kind of winning mindset.

Yeah.

Frank Carone: Great question and the right way to begin any discussion on bringing value to your own life, your business and thinking correctly is starting with the correct mindset. And for me, that means long term. It means credibility. It means, do not think in terms of a zero sum game. I win.

You lose. How can I extract the most out of every single negotiation, every deal. But how do I really listen? How do we bring, do I bring value to the relationship, to my colleagues, to my business partners, even my adversaries, such that my objective is achieved in a way that is [00:12:00] meaningful and long lasting.

And if it means sometimes what may seem to be not the best outcome but if you stick to the principles . Bringing credible value and doing so through an empathetic ear. You'll see in the long run, it'll be a force multiplier the benefits will be just, exceptional.

And that's happened to me over and over. And I used to have the opposite mindset where it was like, you know, you. Fight at all costs. And you argue and, it's a winner or a loser. And you've seen and we've heard where a child perhaps is very verbose or argumentative and the parents say, you're gonna make a great lawyer.

And it's actually the opposite of that. It is the lawyer who argues through, listening and achieving a goal without necessarily banging heads and fighting in every word are the ones with long-term success and achieve results for their clients. But the ones who just storming to the fan usually wind up with their heads chopped off sooner or [00:13:00] later.

So the mindset about is has to, I think, begin with long-term credibility, listening and goal oriented. The North Star where why am I in this conversation in the first place and what is the purpose behind it? And if you don't have a clear answer to that, you may wanna reset and think about what it is you're doing.

So that's the kind of mindset I think it worked for me. And I think folks should consider seriously asking themselves, do they have that mindset?

Jeffrey Feldberg: Absolutely, and I would imagine in the political arena. It's even more amplified, and I appreciate it in the book, when you're putting the foundation down of a winning might set and you're talking about, okay, well here's why you're gonna win. And the few principles that you mentioned that I highlighted, it's okay.

It's gonna be all about them. You gotta give to get, and once you've done that, there's something called. The law of reciprocity, which I feel is just, it's built within us. It's part of the human condition of what's there. If we zoom out for just a moment though, for a listener in the Deep Wealth nation who's [00:14:00] listening to us right now, what would you want them to know of?

Well, why is it all about them and I have to give to get, it can't just be about me and just receiving and just me getting and why if I'm helping others first. I mean, it seems so obvious. It really isn't, though. If I help enough people get what they want. Eventually I'll get what I want, but what's going on there?

Where are we again? Going off base or off track With that.

Frank Carone: Again, for me, it's sort of like a little bit of a. Development of what we said a little bit earlier, but it's giving to get is one way of saying it. Another way is I like to say value accretion. Am are you do you feel better about yourself? If I'm your friend? Do you feel better about yourself?

If I'm your lawyer, if I'm your consultant, if you're coming to me in Oaktree and our team, are we bringing you? Intangible value that makes you comfortable and wanting to speak to us. I would try often to become part of my client's habitual day and week that they needed to speak to me for a moment, even if it was a few words in the morning.

Get my take on daily events. [00:15:00] But it is that value accretion that comes back in spades that, that allows you to receive the law of reciprocity, as you mentioned. And value is, pleasurable to do as well. Actually a lot of fun. When you have that mindset, you enjoy it and you think of ways that you could become important in folks' lives, but it requires.

A certain level of, no, not a certain level of a large level of patience and of listening. 'cause value is not what you think it is, by the way. It's what You're listening from your whoever you're speaking tos, words that are coming outta their mouth that develops your opinion of what that value is.

But many people, overtalk don't listen correctly and they say things they think are valuable, not what their colleague or adversary. Really thinks is valuable. And in our book we, we talk about getting behind the curtain. And that only comes through open-ended questions and active listening and a real level of patience, which is hard for many of us.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Absolutely, and I mean, my goodness, that can be not just an episode, that can be an entire series [00:16:00] all about that. Let me ask you this because you're talking about value and completely agree with everything that you're saying, and Frankie, if we're open and honest about it, the world didn't need another advisory firm that said you started Oaktree Solutions.

So I'm wondering, when you started Oaktree Solutions, what did you feel was missing that you're now filling that gap, you're bringing that kind of value to the people and really making a difference out there? What's going on with that?

Frank Carone: Great question. I would say, variety of of uh, thoughts that came to my mind in the beginning, but I'll share two that I thought were really powerful. One, as chief of staff to Mayor Adams coming at to administration, post covid and post administration. It was not necessarily, I.

Business friendly and entrepreneur friendly. Just had, different philosophies than we did. So we decided to sort of, make sure that one of our missions is that New York City becomes, once again the epicenter of commerce, trade tourism, and to do so that we needed to sort of actively pursue.

Foreign [00:17:00] companies that did business in New York and let them know that we are welcoming to them. And, New York is a safe place to live and to do business and, the bureaucracy should be thinking about yeses rather than nos. So I traveled a bit promoting New York and what I found in so doing was that.

The reception I received on behalf of New York was incredible. Everyone where I went, I was received warm. We brought businesses, New York, we did MOUs with airlines and colleges and universities and tech companies. And it was really rewarding. And I'm happy to say that tourism now is at record highs and foreign companies, or the World Cup is coming to New York, a soccer stadium is here in New York, and people are it's starting to happen and it's happening.

Post Covid. It's easy to say now, but let's remember a couple of years ago, people were, stores were closed, offices were closed, people were wearing masks, so. Part of my thought process was there's a large universe that really needs to understand the intersection of legal, regulatory, political [00:18:00] environment here, and we can offer that.

Secondarily, all the law firms I dealt with very often the issues had a. Governmental political overlay, even if it's a small slice, sometimes a large slice. So I realized there's a market in need of a problem solving strategy firm for law firms and their clients that have this overlay.

And they're perhaps just myopically thinking as a litigator or as a lawyer or transactional lawyer, and we could help there. So it kind of started with those two and just. My own experience, again, working through, my colleagues and our first iteration of everyone wins and discussing how to negotiate, putting that all together, I realized it'd be a lot of fun to have a diverse practice with international clientele, athletes, and as such, and it's been rewarding.

Jeffrey Feldberg: It's interesting as you're sharing that, Frank, I can't help but think from your vantage point as a litigator and also from being in politics. I mean, my goodness, you are seeing a side of the human element, which [00:19:00] isn't necessarily such a good thing, but you've seen that. You've experienced it. Which as we circle back to something that you said in the book and you talk about the challenge of the three E's and specifically egos, emotions and energy.

So looking at it from the litigation side, looking at it from the political side when it comes to the three E's, and perhaps what we are doing that we probably shouldn't be doing because it's not helping us create that win-win all around, it's probably hurting ourselves. We don't necessarily see it.

What would you tell us about that?

Frank Carone: Yeah, well listen. Just start with the first one. One of my I don't know if it was the second month, while as Chief of staff, I sent the book around by Ryan Holiday. He goes, is the enemy. And because I see in government very often people get so caught in their position either 'cause it's their right to do so or they feel it's their right to do so.

And I needed to sort of. Remove the sort of stain of ego. Ego is the number one killer of progress, is the number one killer of value. It is selfish, self-centered, and insecure and it never [00:20:00] comes across appropriate, so at all costs. Ego is a, really the death nail of any entrepreneur of any professional.

So we all have to work at it. We all, it's not going away. You can't just say it and it happens. It's in something that you have to work on every single day to same way, you have to work on your health and your wellbeing. You must work on how you view.

we all struggle with it. So it's not gonna be one of those things that happen easily. But if you keep it top of mind, which again is hard to do you'll find you could get so much done. And, you know, I remember a client said to me once you can't deposit ego in the bank. And I remember that.

And I go, it's true. again, going back to what I said earlier. What is the purpose of what we're doing? What is the goal? Why are we in this negotiation? Why are we in this, vertical line of our business? And it is not just for our egos it is for economic purposes.

If we keep that as your North Star, then it's a little easier to keep your ego in check. But number one issue, as far as I'm concerned.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Easier said than done because I've been in [00:21:00] situations where I let that get ahead of me so we can all agree that Absolutely. Let's check the e. In fact, wherever possible, let's not have the ego coming in. Let's be humble and to your point, hey, we have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Let's listen more than we talk.

That said, though, there are times where the ego gets outta the box, so to speak, and it puts us into trouble. Any strategies, Frank, of when we're going down that path, some early warning signs that we can say, Hey, whoa, okay, what I'm gonna say next or what's about to happen next probably isn't a good thing.

Let me take a step back. What should we be doing in that kind of situation?

Frank Carone: The first thing to do is just be aware of it, right? If, just be aware that it exists. It is potentially. Toxic. And then how do you remind yourself, when you get in those situations and the only way you do that is repetition and perhaps something that's a reminder that either a book on your desk or a note that you, or a little sentence or two that you read every morning.

Going back to the book I was talking about earlier about Wallace models, as often Every, Every moment that I recall, I repeat to [00:22:00] myself and it just gives me a level set of calmness to sort of think goal oriented for the day for me. So similarly, it just practice.

You need to just be continually remind yourself of how toxic putting your ego ahead of and then challenge yourself. That also means changing your mind when proving that there's a better idea that's not your own and changing your. Trajectory you're moving when it becomes an idea, not your own.

And I noticed in government very often that was hard for people when they started down a pathway. It's hard to move that, that ship line or like a, a ship banking or a plane turning. It's usually a long wind turn a hard turn, but. You have to be open-minded to that. And if you get, you could do that only through by going back to what we said originally, the correct mindset, which is goal oriented, not personal oriented.

And with that said, you'll find yourself having a lot more fun and a lot more success on what you're doing.

Jeffrey Feldberg: So when we follow that line of thinking, [00:23:00] and the question that I'm thinking of, it's quite a big one. It's somewhat general. It might be a tad difficult to answer, but I'm gonna throw it out there. Anyways, when we're. Looking to create that winning mindset, and particularly when there's success on the line, and success means different things to different people, but oftentimes to get to that success level, to cross that finish line, important decisions need to be made of what I do or not do.

How do I maintain both loyalty and integrity, where oftentimes they're compromised because, oh, you know what, I'll just. Not do that. I'll take a shortcut here and I'll win today and I'll figure it out later on how I can make things right or maybe not at all. So, loyalty, integrity, doing the right thing, still maintaining, Hey, I'm gonna get to this big goal of success.

What's going on there, Frank, that you'd want us to know?

Frank Carone: Yeah, so great question. Let's break those, that question down into some parts here. First, loyalty, right? Well actually, let me do it another way. Remember what I said a little bit earlier. If you're, if you start with long-term thinking [00:24:00] and the only way you could have, be a long-term thinker that such that you could benefit from is if you are a credible person.

So. If your North Star is, credibility, you can't remember, you can't bring value to a relationship if you're not credible. You can't have long term thinking if you're not credible because not being having integrity, not being disloyal can, they'll follow you around the rest of your life.

So first you have to remember what we said originally in our discussion, long-term thinking. And that helps easily deal with integrity because now you don't have to, make a worry about a small, short-term, bad decision because if you do what you believe is right, long term, then you'll always have that integrity and it's easier to do in the long term than in short term.

As it relates to loyalty, loyalty's difficult and not difficult. Difficult in a sense, loyalty's a two-way street, but the way that I deal with loyalty is just being brutally honest and truthful, even if it means disagreeing with you [00:25:00] and going down a path that you may not. Agree with, but manipulating and lying or hiding that is disloyal.

Even if it seems as though I'm not willing to confront you as a person that say that I'm perhaps hypothetically in our example I'm dealing with, but you deal with loyalty by being truthful, honest, and truthful. And as long as you keep your eyes towards long-term goals and it's something that you're doing.

You feel compromise is that you say it, you talk about it, you discuss it, and then you listen and therefore you're being loyal. Again. So you do those two things. I think you could deal with both. Although they're, easier said than done again, but you write these things down, you practice them, you remind yourself, and it'll become second nature over time.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And so when you're talking about that of, okay, I'm gonna have the loyalty, I'm gonna be truthful, and you're right, it is easier said than done something else that you said, and it was really easy to potentially miss over. But that is, and again, these are my words. You could say Jeffrey OnBase or off base, what I'm also hearing you say, and I [00:26:00] completely agree with.

Don't be a yes person. It's so much easier just to go along with the crowd or a decision's being made. You don't wanna be the one that ruffles the feathers. Deep down this probably isn't the right decision, but they shoot the messenger, as they saying goes, and I don't want to be the one that's.

You're gonna be saying things and oftentimes we create a situation. It's like the emperor with no clothes. And that's a whole other story. In fact, we did a podcast episode on that. So Frank, how can we, in the best and polite politest of ways, say no to something or share our thoughts on something that's going against the grain of the group think and everything else going on, because we truly believe and feel, Hey, this isn't the right way to go, or, I'm hearing what you're asking.

I'm gonna have to say no to that. How do we do that in a way that. Creates integrity and trust on both sides.

Frank Carone: Well, if you're uncomfortable, first of you're not entirely. Clear that you want to say no first, or is you're in a situation where, in your gut you know, you're not comfortable, but you're just uncomfortable expressing it. According to your question, the way that you could [00:27:00] handle it I think most effectively is to questions like, tell me why, you want to go down this path?

Tell me why you wanna do, A, B, or C? what created that decision? What's the basis that you are relying on that? You know you want to do that? Tell me what you're trying to achieve. Is that the only way we can achieve that? And through those open-ended questions, you'll, and the feedback you get, very often you'll see the person who maybe you wanna say no to changes their own mind because you're giving them ability to critically think and come to their conclusion on their own.

Now after doing that and having the patience to do so, it fails, then you just have to have the confidence to just, respectfully decline and do so in a way that's not, hurting the other person's feelings or ego. We talk about this as ego in reverse, and then you'll long term, they'll come back and you'll have other business opportunities versus being afraid to say no and being a yes person, as you say, which is the worst of all worlds, because now people are relying upon that and to their detriment.

[00:28:00] You're actually hurting them, you're compounding it. 'cause you're making them spend extra time on an area with you, which you have no intention of accomplishing. So I would suggest through open-ended questions to see why it is the person wants to go down a road that you disagree with and then, hoping you find common ground.

Jeffrey Feldberg: It's interesting because what I'm hearing you say is, Hey, become curious. Put your judgments and ego aside. Why did that person come to that decision? Why are they thinking like that? And perhaps we're gonna learn a few things that I. May or may not change what we're thinking or where we're going with that, but it also may and influence all parties.

And it's with that in mind that I wanted to ask you with Oaktree solutions, but also with what you've done beforehand. You deliberately aren't in the spotlight, but that doesn't mean that you're not being able to, behind the scenes really make that difference. And for me, as a leader. For an effective leader, for me is not being in the spotlight.

It's not taking over what everyone else is doing. I really want my team to step up to the plate knowing that they have the confidence and support and my mentorship and the coaching and [00:29:00] leadership behind that. How do we do that as entrepreneurs, as leaders in our organizations? How can we remain behind the scenes but still be that difference and have people comfortable to step up to the plate and really take it across the finish line?

Frank Carone: Well, again, a great question because you, I remember one of my first cases as a lawyer in Brooklyn Criminal Court, and then Judge Lauren Duck, said to be in 1994, perhaps, brought us up to the bench and said to two young lawyers, counselor, who are the best lawyers, and me and the assistant chief attorney just outta law school looked up.

We had no idea what he was talking about. And we said, no judge who said the one with the clients? And how do you get the clients if no one knows who you are? So there's that. You have to also, think about promoting your work or do you just do it through word of mouth, through your actions?

So putting aside, the world knowing that you exist. The way you do that, in my estimation is keeping your eye focused [00:30:00] on the goal, which we said earlier. What is the purpose of Oaktree solution? Is it for Frank to have publicity? No. Is it for the client to have publicity? No. The goal is profit.

Through problem solving. So if the goal is profit and everything else is ancillary, I don't worry about it. Or you don't worry about it. Or we don't worry about it. And at this point, we have a good, a loyal following and a word of mouth that from our career, and we've had critical mass already from our th the years and years of doing this.

At this point we've tried to stay and I always tried to stay and it make the team stay focused on the objective, which is revenue and profit through value and satisfied clients. As long as I keep that as a north star, rest is easy. I.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Love that. And your vision, your North Star, you're embedding that into the. Culture, which is one of our X-Factors. Step two X-Factors here at Deep Wealth. When you have a rich and thriving culture, it's an extension of you and your team's reinforcing it. You're reinforcing it, and that's how you're creating win-win.

But let me ask you [00:31:00] this because, and you talk about this towards the end of the book, which I found fascinating. We can all have, I'm gonna call them horror stories of just difficult people that we've dealt with, and you also talk about dealing with. Not dealing with monsters. Interesting and love some of the things going on there.

So there are gonna be difficult people and sometimes people are difficult just because, for no other reason. They just like it and they like the kind of potential power that it gives 'em. Or just ruffling other people's feathers. So following the win out there, how do we deal with difficult people? what should be some strategies from the trenches that you found have worked that you wanna share with

us? 

Frank Carone: You really, really can't you just have to. Say no and cut them loose. And this is a rare occasion. Most people are inherently good, but there are what we call in the book monsters who just take up your time, take up your energy, mislead you, and you just have to walk away. You have to have love for life experience that you've gotta identify it.

'cause sometimes, proverbial wolf and sheep's clothing, you don't see it. [00:32:00] But I think I have enough life experience for me and I try to teach my team how to identify that through questions when sometimes one of my staff member come in having a difficult time with potentially a prospective client.

'cause we don't have any clients at the moment that otherwise we would never take them in the first place. But someone would perhaps just came in and we see it's, I could tell this is going the wrong way, and they're just biting off, more than, they should be and manipulating the team a little, but you just have to.

Cut your loss and move on. 'cause you'll just ultimately you'll fail. I think I heard a speech once from Warren Buffet say, you cannot do a good deal with a bad person. And yet, conversely, you cannot do a bad deal with a good person. Why is that good? People find a way to fix things. Sl their wounds and come back and do what's right and win.

And bad people look for excuses, blame and create toxicity in, in the environment. that's a tough one, we have to be, have an antenna for it. Set some marker for yourself that are personal and [00:33:00] just move on. Cut the ties.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And Frank, as you're talking about that, you're actually taking me back to one of my favorite quotes. It was Jim. Own. We are the average of the five people that we spend the most amount of time with. And so if we take an honest stock of, well, who are those five people? Are they energy vampires? Are they bringing me down?

Are they holding me back? Or are these integral people? They're loyal people. They have my best interests of mine, they're gonna call me out. They're not Yes people, they're gonna call me out when I've overstepped the line, but they're also gonna be there to support me. And to your point, whether it's in business, whether it's on the personal side, if we find that, hey, some of those people aren't for the best of me.

So what you're saying, we don't have to be a rude person or a jerk about it. We can quietly and politely begin to back away and begin to have other people in our lives that are gonna be more like us in terms of getting to that win. So absolutely agree with what's there. And just before we go into wrap up mode, another question or two at the end of the book, you talk about the 53 success tips.

Love that. Is there [00:34:00] one success tip or two success tips that really stand out for you? Anything that you'd like to share? So in other words, if you can only pick one or two.

Frank Carone: not really, I mean, you write the list because you believe in the importance of all of them. But they're the ones that we shared during our discussion, you having the right frame of mind goal setting. Listening what we call tactical empathy.

These are the kind of things that you really must do. Putting the ego aside. So I don't, I wouldn't highlight really one, but I would wanna go back to just add onto something in our, Previous topic. And if a person who's, if one of the listeners are young and perhaps, don't have the experience to identify a monster or have the requisite body of work behind them and feel maybe a little bit, Hey, wait a minute, how am I gonna learn that?

One of the things that you can do besides reading and writing notes for yourself to remind is find mentors. Find one or two or three folks that you could. Brainstorm with or, ask questions and talk about ideas. And you don't necessarily have to agree with it all.

But I did that as a young man, and I've always [00:35:00] had older people that I've sort of admired and that I could ask questions and so I would not get discouraged. We're talking about, those of us, you and I, who have a body of work behind us. But be patient don't be afraid to make mistakes as you go along the way.

Find mentors, write notes, make lists, and over time you'll find habitually these things become second nature.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And back to your point, when finding mentors, it goes really back to, Hey, am I curious? Let me ask some questions. Let me take some risks. Let me put myself out there. Maybe out of 10 people I ask to be a mentor, maybe nine of them will say no, but one will say yes. It just takes one to make all the difference.

I think that's some terrific advice that's out there. And so Frank, before we go into wrap up mode, I have so many questions I haven't had a chance yet to ask. Is there something that we haven't yet talked about or even a. Theme or a message that we haven't covered that you wanna share with the Deep Nation before we go into rapid mode?

Frank Carone: I would just highlight, the lessons from everybody wins, which is appealing to. Your adversary, your colleague, your partner's [00:36:00] self-interest, even your romantic partner in a way that's, challenge the ego in a way that it requires listening. And in so doing, you'll find common areas.

And from there you build. And as long if you have that thought process in your mind daily with all the other caveats we discussed. You'll bring value to your business or your career. And in so doing, it'll have a compounding effect in ways you can never imagine. I just have so many examples of folks who, that I've brought value to.

I've, responded to quickly, and then later on, bring me an opportunity that, I could never have imagined. So stick with it. Be patient, read, take notes, and it'll all work out.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And as you're saying that, actually it reminds me if I'm not mistaken, this was the quote at the start of your book, may you learn in fewer steps what took me far too many. But if you insist on trial and error, at least make the stories worth telling. And isn't that the truth of. How it should be. And speaking of stories, we're gonna go into wrap up mode [00:37:00] and I feel so privileged and honored because here on the Deep Wealth Podcast, it's our tradition where every guest I have the privilege and honor of asking the same question.

And it's a really fun question. So Frank, let me set this up for you. When you think of the movie Back to the Future, you have that magical DeLorean car that will take you to any point in time. So Frank, it's tomorrow morning. This is the fun part. You look outside your window. Not only is the DeLorean car curbside, the door is open, it's waiting for you to hop on in which you do, and you're not gonna go to any point in your life.

Frank has a young child, a teenager, whatever point in time it would be. What are you telling your younger self in terms of life lessons or life wisdom or, Hey Frank, do this, but don't do that. What would that sound like?

Frank Carone: Yeah, so I, the, if I was to go back and speak to my young self I probably would just reinforce everything we've said here today, which is, just don't remain calm, not get angry, not get disappointed. Be patient again. Don't let your ego perhaps cloud your judgment. It's not personal. [00:38:00] Stay remove monsters from your life.

It probably made. Some mistakes allowing them to stay far too long. And I don't blame other people for my mistakes, it's part of my life experiences. Some of those mistakes were critical to get me to where I am today. So it's really the body of work good and the bad and the ugly that brings me here.

But if to answer that, incredibly cool question, it would be more emotional than it would be intellectual, because that's, I was a little more hotheaded as a younger man than I am today.

Jeffrey Feldberg: It goes back to what you're saying, Hey, remain calm, be patient, and also surround yourself with great people. I think that's such wonderful advice that you have. And Frank, lemme ask you this, A listener in Deep Nation, they have a question perhaps even wanna work with you. Have you the team come and bring some value to them?

Where would be the best place that they can find you online?

Frank Carone: So the easiest way to contact me would be everyonewinsbook.com and then there's links to our Oaktree website and my personal website. So just go into, [00:39:00] everyonewinsbook.c om would be the best place. 

Jeffrey Feldberg: Deep Wealth Nation doesn't get any easier. We'll have all that for you in the show notes. It's a point and click doesn't get any better. Well, that said, Frank, it's official. This is a wrap. Congratulations, and as we love to say here at Deep Wealth, may you continue to thrive and prosper while you remain healthy and safe.

Thank you so much.

Frank Carone: Thank you Jeffrey 

Jeffrey Feldberg: So there you have it, Deep Wealth Nation. What did you think? 

So with all that said and as we wrap it up, I have another question for you.

Actually, it's more of a personal favor. 

Did you find this episode helpful? 

Have you found other episodes of the Deep Wealth Podcast empowering and a game changer for your journey? 

And if you said yes, and I really hope you did, I have a small but really meaningful way that you can actually help us out and keep these episodes coming to you.

Are you ready for it? 

The dramatic pause. I'll just wait a moment. Drumroll, please. Subscribe. Please subscribe to the Deep Wealth podcast on your favorite podcast channel. When you subscribe to the Deep Wealth Podcast, you're saving yourself time. Every episode automatically comes to you, and I want you to know that we meticulously craft [00:40:00] Every one of our episodes to have impactful strategies, stories, expert insights that are designed to help you grow your profits, increase the value of your business, and yes, even optimize your post exit life and your life right now, whatever you want that to look like.

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So all that said. Thank you so much for listening. And remember your wealth isn't just about the money in the bank. It's about the depth of your journey and the impact that you're creating. So let's continue this journey together. And from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for listening to this episode.

And as we love to say here at Deep Wealth, may you continue to thrive and prosper while you remain healthy and safe. 

Thank you so much. 

God bless.