Money Expert Shares Financial Playbook You Were Never Taught: Amy Cook On Money Mindset That Wins (#435)

435 Amy Cook
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Jeffrey Feldberg: [00:00:00] Amy Cook is the founder and financial advisor at Maven Lane Financial Group. Amy's career spans over two decades in financial services, transitioning to financial advising in 2009. She's the author of the Amazon bestseller, Your Money Narrative, which delves into how personal experiences shape financial behaviors and decisions.

As Amy worked on her own money narrative, she helped her clients do the same with a mission to build lasting legacies through effective financial decision making and strategies. 

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Deep Wealth Nation welcomee to another episode of the podcast. I got to tell you something in the book, think and grow rich Napoleon Hill, the classic book. He said our inner narrative, what we tell ourselves in our inner mind that manifests in our outer world. So when it comes to money, when it comes to finances, What's your story?

Is it a good one? Is it not a good one? If you're wondering, if you want to improve it, if you want to get it to the top level to get those incredible results, you've come to the right place. We have a very special guest today, Amy, welcome to the default podcast. An absolute pleasure to have you with us.

And Amy, there's always a story behind the story. So what's your story? What got you from where you were to where you are today?

Amy Cook: Well first Jeffrey, thanks so much for having me here. I'm excited to have this [00:04:00] conversation with you and excited about the topic. What got me to where I am today? that's a long story. but I'll try to give you a condensed version here. I've been working with clients as a financial advisor for 15 years.

Prior to that, I worked in the mortgage business. I noticed a theme, with money narratives, if you will, money Stories that sort of repeated themselves over and over, and then I started to notice them within myself and started, to take a hard look on what was I doing, you know, in my own life that I wasn't getting where I wanted To be or go and do the things that I wanted to do, what was holding me back. And as I dived in and started looking at some of these stories, I realized that there were some significant things that were feeding in that were sort of directing the decisions that I made that had gotten me to that point.

And so I started to shift some of those things. And that's kind of where this money narrative concept came from.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And Deep Wealth Nation go to the show notes in [00:05:00] the show notes, you're going to see a link to Amy's book, your money narrative, understanding your story to build a stronger financial future. Click on the link, pick up the book, whether it be a Kindle or paperback or even the audible and go through it. It's absolutely incredible.

And so I'm wondering, Amy, before we start going big picture wise in terms of what you're seeing out there for people and what it's been like for your clients that you've been working with. really for your journey, what were some of the big standouts for you? What happened in your own personal journey that had you just rethink everything in terms of your money narrative?

Amy Cook: For me, it started at an early age. Yeah. When I was six or seven years old, I believe my parents were going through some hard times. They lost our family home. And I realized that it was at that point that I Sort of decided that money was the solution to all of life's problems and of course money can solve a lot of things but what I couldn't figure out was why no matter what I did I was kind of spinning my wheels and trying to grab it.

this will [00:06:00] solve it I need more I need to stack a few more dollars, but it wasn't really Giving me the feeling or the sense of accomplishment that I really wanted because fear was really deriving a lot of my decisions. So it was truly an endless, rut, if you will, until I started to look at it and realize that it really wasn't about money at all.

That sense of security or lack of was coming from a little bit. A deeper place and I started to look at it and then, that unfolded from there where, once you look at one thing, you start looking at another thing and then sometimes you can recognize it in other people as well.

And that's where the opportunity is to, uncover some of those things and try to improve on them.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And so, I mean, as you're talking about that, you would be the first to say, Jeffrey, everyone's journey is going to be different and they all have their own individual paths to follow. And I would completely agree with that. But that said, when you look at yourself, when you look at other people that have begun to work [00:07:00] with you.

Is it the good old 80 20 rule, Pareto's Law, that 80 percent of the so called issues are coming from 20 percent of the same things that either we're doing or we're not doing? Are there patterns that you're seeing?

Amy Cook: I think so I mean, first and foremost, the patterns that I see may not be. Patterns that others are seeing. So there's that. So until we're ready to look at things, there, there really isn't, it's hard to change them until you see them. But I do notice that a lot of it really stems from kind of how we were raised in our upbringings and what experiences we had and these formations around.

What's good and what's bad about money. And a lot of that comes from, our parents and it's not necessarily any ill will. It's just what they learned and it's a generational thing. And so it passes on.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Okay, yeah, so it sounds like how we're growing up with what our parents, what they were believing, whether it was true or not true, but that gets passed on to us and That can really change our trajectory. So, all that said, I mean, what would be some of the more [00:08:00] common myths that people tend to buy into, but it's really not the case?

And actually, if we continue down that path, it could actually harm us or hurt us.

Amy Cook: Yeah, I mean, I think that, we could look at a number of things like, having too much money is bad or it's greedy or, shame and it's really the emotions around it, shame and guilt of not having enough. I mean, in our society, we don't really talk about money. And a lot of people feel that if you talk about money, you're bragging, or if you don't have enough money, you're a failure.

So there's some very strong beliefs around money In and of itself, it's just paper, right? But it's what it does for us. It provides for our families. provides security in its own way. But if we are, looking at it with the right lens it really is just a tool at the end of the day.

I

Jeffrey Feldberg: I couldn't agree more, and I know, I want to say it's early on in the [00:09:00] book, you're talking about yourself, and you're saying it felt like it was a bicycle race, and you're talking about that whole journey with that, and I could really relate with that, Amy, because I know for myself, When I was building the business.

And then when I knew at one point I'd be selling the business in my mind, wrongly, I said, okay, Jeffrey, cross that finish line. You'll get all these zeros. Life's problems are over. You're now on easy street. And thankfully we did cross the finish line, but it wasn't anywhere near what I thought it would be because, and you can share Jeffrey on base or off base with you and others, Amy, I found the next day after the deal closed.

Well, Jeffrey woke up and yeah, I had more zeros in the bank, but the same fears, the same hopes. I was still the same person and well, money, yes, it can definitely make life easier. It's not going to solve all the problems and it's certainly not going to, as the saying goes, it's not going to buy happiness.

Thoughts about that

Amy Cook: completely agree. I mean, those are things that come from a deeper place, where we look at kind of [00:10:00] why we've done the things that we've done, why we fight so hard for the things that we think that we need to do or need to have and it's really. I think something that you never truly arrive.

I don't think I'll ever come, get to a place where I say I've arrived. That's it. I know everything there is to know and I'm done. It's just a kind of a nonstop journey where you're just always looking at decisions that might not be helping or might not be serving you. And you go, What is that about? Is that about something else? And there's so many fears around financial decisions. that often come from a place that, really, if you look real hard at it, it doesn't make a lot of sense, like fear around the market or this, the market going to zero, which of course that would require every company to go bankrupt and, the entire, which if that happens, we've got bigger problems, but I mean, not to say that anything is impossible or.

perception around safety and banks and just different things. And they usually kind of stem [00:11:00] back to something we were told or that we were raised to believe, or that we just see ingrained in ourselves. And we continue to make all of our decisions based on those things.

Well, if it's not working, you know, it's. Consider, looking at some of that stuff.

Jeffrey Feldberg: and Amy as you're talking about that what's interesting and you spoke about this in the book Where you shared and there's always two sides to the coin So on the positive side you talked about your dad and you're saying how your dad was very transparent about the money I always spoke about that The flip side of that though was you felt some of the pressure that your dad felt where you didn't have enough as a family and that imprinted upon you and unknowingly you took that into your life now and now you're grown up and you're professional and you're doing your thing and Can you share with Deep Wealth Nation what that was like and that realization for you because where I'm coming from with that question?

It doesn't just affect us personally. It affects those around us. And as entrepreneurs running companies, well, that's probably going to spill over into the company culture, into the leadership team, [00:12:00] into our front end, all the employees and team members all the way through. So it definitely has some impacts based on some of those beliefs, whether they're right or not.

So can you share with us what's going on with that? Okay.

Amy Cook: Yeah, absolutely. And no matter what it is, it's our truth and our truths can, right or wrong that they simply are what they are. And, my dad was an entrepreneur and I, credit him with everything entrepreneurial about myself. And he brought me in really early. I was doing all of his billing and accounts receivables at a very young age.

And so I was keenly aware of what money was coming in and what money wasn't coming in. However, I didn't have all the facts. So all I knew was our, did we get any checks today? No, we didn't get any checks today. So. There was a big space of what does that mean? Does that mean we can't eat? Does that mean, we can't buy, put gas in the car?

Because I didn't have the whole family picture. I didn't know [00:13:00] what all the expenses were. So to me, it was just following these dollars. And then I would notice that his stress level was heightened when, Things weren't functioning, money wasn't coming in, or business was slow, or he owned a trucking company, so it's like the trucks broke down, and it'd do a number of things to fix that, and he was very too transparent almost.

So I just developed all of these ideas, which really came down to more money solves these problems, and that is true. It would have solved some of those problems, but what I was really worried about was him and I was worried about his health and seeing him stressed out. So at the core of it, it was about relationship and how much I loved my dad and didn't want to see him like that versus the money.

I

Jeffrey Feldberg: Yeah. And so, so much going on there and let me ask you this. Once we realize the narrative, and you know, maybe on the flip side for some of the listeners in DeepAuthNation, they have a terrific money narrative, and [00:14:00] it's positive, it's upbeat, and it's taking them to some incredible places, it's not holding them back.

But that said, I would suspect, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on that, that out of a hundred people, out of a thousand people, that the vast majority of them likely don't have the best money narrative. Thoughts on that?

Amy Cook: think that it's a blend, it's like, that story might be one that's that didn't serve me, but I could tell you a number of stories that did, like, for instance, when, I was in economics, which was my favorite class in high school, and we were doing an exercise where, this was back when, to check stock prices, you had to get the newspaper in the morning and watch that movement that way.

And we had an exercise where we had this, hypothetical money that we invested in chose stocks. Well, my dad jumped in and said, Hey, why don't we actually buy them? And whatever money you put in, I'll match it. So then, having some skin in the game, it became a lot more exciting. And what it did was it removed.

My [00:15:00] fear, at a very young age around investing because the stock went up, the stock went down, it wasn't the end of the world, We watched it bought more shares was an early narrative that was formed where it was fun and it wasn't this thing to fear.

Whereas someone else might be in a situation where they say, Oh, the stock market's very volatile, very scary, very, this. whatever they're told, and then they sort of carry that through and go, well, I'm not going to go near that. I'm not going to touch it. And so in turn, they stick their money under the mattress or in the bank, and then they're losing money, right?

Just from an inflation perspective of just having money, sitting there. that's kind of an other end of the spectrum example. So I think there's all types of maybe small narratives that build together. Create, you know who we are and a lot of them serve us and a lot of people have a lot of strong narratives and a lot of us I think have a mix.

I don't think it's all good. All bad. I think we're all different and it's kind of just what forms us.

Jeffrey Feldberg: [00:16:00] And in your book, I love how you took different scenarios and you broke it down and you walked us through it. So, as we're going up the teenage entrepreneur to just getting started and then we're going to the savage generation, the broke millionaire, the dilemma in divorce, an empty bucket and all those things that go along with that.

But let's go back to the beginning. So I'm a listener in Deepalp Nation. I'm hearing this conversation, Amy, and now probably for the first time, I'm becoming aware that, hey, there really is a narrative around how I think about money, how I think about wealth, what should I be doing? Number one to begin to become aware of the narrative and then when I see parts of the narrative that really work for me But there's other parts that don't how do I begin to change that in a way that really works for me?

Amy Cook: Well, I think the first step is really just awareness. If you're a business owner and you're in a, similar rut that seems to just perpetuate over and over that, you can't get a hold of one particular part of your business. Or you're struggling in [00:17:00] one area or multiple areas start to look at it, just ask why, I wonder why this, you know, even though my number one priority to not do X and do Y instead, I continue to find myself in that X range.

Why is that? And. And if you ask that question enough, you might start piecing some things together that I think deep down, we do things, we perpetuate things, even though we really don't want to. And it's not a change that happens overnight. We have to really dive in and look at what it is or how it's serving us to continue to do things a certain way to really climb out of it and do things differently.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Okay, so it's self awareness of seeing what's there and Amy I would imagine that the narrative that's working for me today as Great as it is life happens circumstance changes and perhaps it's not gonna start working tomorrow thoughts about that

Amy Cook: Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I think it's just a a never [00:18:00] ending process of progression. It's like the tortoise and the hare, we're moving and then we look back and we see progress because sometimes we can't really see it. See it day to day. But then if you take it in chunks of time and you look back and go, wow, okay, see a ton of progress here, not so much here.

And, some of it, it takes longer than other pieces. It's a journey. It's a journey. I mean, it's, sounds cliche, but it's true.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And speaking of cliche, but you're, I'm going to ask the question that falls into that category. And I'd love to hear your thoughts on that when it comes to the money narrative between, let's look at a group of people who. Have let's say lasting wealth, they're successful. And then there's those who are really struggling to have that lasting wealth.

They're struggling to make the ends meet, so to speak. And they're on this treadmill, that bike race that is just not happening for them. What would be some of the biggest differences in the mindset and that money narrative that's going on with those two [00:19:00] groups?

Amy Cook: We have to be willing to be honest with ourselves and that can be really hard sometimes because.

Entrepreneurial mindset and we want to be successful. We were competitive. We want to win and it can be difficult to really be exposed in that way where we're acknowledging, our weaknesses and it's sort of exposing that a transparent way, even to others to say, I'm working on this.

That can be hard to do. But it's a habit. This book, for instance, it was really hard for me to talk about myself when I read it back, I was like, gosh, I don't know if I really want other people that I know and don't know reading this story, but then there's an authenticity there that is valuable and it actually deepens your connection with others that know you and new connections where Take care.

People that don't know you feel like they do know you a little bit. And it really didn't hurt anything, which was actually a little bit of an aha or some kind of a, an eye opener for me too.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Yeah, it's [00:20:00] interesting and particularly on the entrepreneurial front where we're running the businesses and if we're open, if we're honest about this and with your own background when it comes to money, the decisions that we make for a business, are we going to do this expenditure? We're not going to do this expenditure.

Well, that's going to have both implications and also unintended consequences. If we don't do it, maybe something's not going to happen to the business needed, or if we did it, but we shouldn't have done it again, that's going to potentially hurt the business, or maybe the business is going to grow and benefit from that.

So I'd imagine. That the narrative that we're telling ourselves, if we don't get a handle on that, it can really take us in directions and places that we probably don't want to be.

Amy Cook: Yeah. And I think we also need to give ourselves grace in that process because mistakes are inevitable. And I feel that that's where some of the best lessons are learned, when we make mistakes and we don't just. Beat ourselves up over and over again, but rather look at it and think, gosh, if I had it to do over again, what would [00:21:00] I have done differently?

And then the next time something similar happens, then you act quicker in a better way. And so that wouldn't happen if we didn't have those, pitfalls, barriers, mistakes that happened along the way.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And so talk to us about that, because what you're sharing now resonates, at least for me, and I'm sure I'm not alone in this, where we've made a decision. And it turned out to good intention, but the outcome wasn't great and money was lost or an opportunity just didn't happen. And I know most entrepreneurs being type A personalities, we can be hard on ourselves.

We're the toughest critic of ourselves and we're just beating ourselves up about that. So when you look at it from a narrative, all different kinds of narratives, same situation, but many different narratives have different consequences, some good, some not so good. How do we take what potentially could be viewed as something that's negative, but create a narrative, like you said just now, that cuts us a break and gives us some slack?

Amy Cook: I think we have to force ourselves to find the lessons in [00:22:00] things. have a firm believer in that. And it may not come right away. I mean, depending on the gravity of the quote unquote mistake or turn that we shouldn't have taken. But there's also the element of, there's risk involved in being a business owner and there's so many of those decisions that work out and we tend to focus on the ones that don't.

But what if we didn't take those chances at all, then we would just be doing nothing. So there's bound to be some wins and some losses, but it's like what can we learn from it? how can we grab a key, lesson that we can help somebody else with, or help ourselves in the future.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Love what you're saying because what I'm hearing you say, and you can share Jeffrey on base or off base, something that happens, and look, if it's a success, that's very easy to talk about. We all love success. But if it isn't, what I'm hearing you say is, okay, well, cut yourself some slack. Imagine all the decisions that you wouldn't have taken if there was risk involved, what that would have meant.

But at the same time, I'm hearing you say, hey, why don't you look back? [00:23:00] And look at the successes that you have had put this into perspective. And I have the feeling that Amy will walk away feeling a whole lot better.

Amy Cook: That I think so. And I think, there's also always a little bit of a timing and element involved in decisions. And have you ever noticed that sometimes like it's a very similar decision can sort of work out really well. And then not a different day. there's just so many factors that, many we can control and many that we really.

We have to go with the, averages, I guess it's the best way to say it. And if we're moving in the right direction, then I think more time we spend beating ourselves up is the last time we're picking up and sort of, shaking it off and just moving forward.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And what's interesting, you have this book, but you also have Maven Lane, the financial group, and you're doing all kinds of financial planning, but also wealth building. And again, you can share Jeffrey on base or off base. Amy, I would imagine that when it comes to wealth building, particularly when I'm [00:24:00] starting out, well, I have the big picture goal of where I want to be.

It's narrative, the money narrative specifically for the wealth building is going to be an important role in how I'm looking at things. The narratives that I'm telling myself, I'd love some of your insights on that.

Amy Cook: Yeah, so so most I do work with a number of business owners, but I also work with a lot of people that are not business owners, you know, it's really, the habits that they may or may not have in place to start and looking at the whole picture, which is why I love. Planning so much because we're not just diving in and investing without a mission of just, looking at a return and not looking at what it's there to accomplish and what we want to achieve.

So, with the financial planning piece, we look at all of it and just sort of identify obvious. roadblocks and things that could get in the way and try to attack those. Of course, it's a, it's a relationship. So if I'm looking at all of that and helping and, [00:25:00] walking along that path of my clients, they also have to be willing to do their part and jump in and take action on the steps that need to be taken in that process.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And what's interesting, Amy, and you mentioned it at the start of a conversation, depending on the culture that you're in, talking about money can be a big taboo or something you just don't do. And perhaps in other situations or other cultures. It's okay to do when it's actually something that you should be doing.

So putting some of the cultural quote unquote norms aside for just a moment a healthy money narrative I mean, what does that look like in terms of ourselves? How are we sharing or not sharing that with family members with loved ones and then in the business sense any guidance on that?

Amy Cook: Yeah, it's a great question because obviously there is a balance there and I do think that, sharing some of our struggles or what we're going through, what we're dealing with our children, even just starting with our kids just letting them [00:26:00] know kind of what things cost, what that looks like.

I have a chapter about college a couple and they've got, aging parents and kids going to college and looking at, the costs of what that looks like and what their, commitment can be, what they can do, because when we look at kids don't know, I mean, they see their parents, they have jobs, they have money.

But they don't really know necessarily the difference between a private school tuition and a public school tuition and what that could, the impact that could have on their parents retirement. And there's a, there is a balance of, not drilling it in to their heads every day of what impact that has, but also just letting them know.

This is really going to affect us. This is not easy. This is not an easy, thing for us to do. And there's going to have to be some participation on your part or whatever the case and, with friends, with family, just a level of, Hey, I've been there [00:27:00] too, or I've been in that situation because I think a lot of times.

People are beating themselves up so much and they think, when they're in the midst of something that they're the only ones that are that stupid to make that decision or, the things, just the things we tell ourselves that sometimes there's somebody jump in and going, Oh my gosh, I had a situation like this and this is what I did.

And it can really just lighten things and make it, Not as taboo or embarrassing or something that we can't talk about.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And Amy, as you're talking about that, it actually takes me back to a conversation I had a while back. Very successful individual. And I will never forget the conversation. It went something along the lines of, look Jeffrey, Particularly when it comes to legacy, it can break up families. And the last thing I want to do is have my wealth, my legacy, be a negative to the family.

If this was a very successful person and the individual went on to say at every birthday, not just for myself, but for the entire family, when it's a birthday, we're [00:28:00] having a family dinner. Anyways, we're all together. And at least for me, I'm talking about, okay, this year, here's where we are financially.

And maybe this family member hasn't been living up to his or her obligations. Well, that's going to affect you if something were to happen to me today. You can expect this to happen, or, hey, great change from last year, you're back up to where it is. But the individual said, I never want it to be a surprise.

When I'm no longer here, that it's going to rip apart the family. And by the way, I'm treating the family all equal. There's no favorites here. If one child is getting ABC, then the next child is going to get ABC. There's no favorites here, but it was transparency. It was very open. It was a very positive money narrative that was being there.

There was no surprises. It wasn't taboo. And each year there'd be an update. People would talk about that. And even the younger children, as young as they were, would talk about what's going on in their life. And should they have some money? What that's looking like. I'd love your thoughts on that.

Amy Cook: I think that is such an incredible gift and legacy [00:29:00] to leave behind to spend the time to organize whatever you have in the best way possible and to be transparent about your wishes and what you would like to see happen. Because. What that allows is, when something happens to you, or if it happens suddenly that people can take care of things and the easiest way possible while grieving the loss a family member.

And I know that for myself, the last thing I want is to have people scrambling around trying to put, pieces of a puzzle together on top of their daily life. And everything else that they have going on. So I really think that the planning on that side is just such a gift to the people that you love and care about.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Yeah. I really love the openness and the transparency because Amy, you're right. In certain circles. To talk anything about money, well, we just don't do that. That doesn't happen here. Or you're being indignant. You're being rude. You're not being considerate. You're being a bragger. You're showing [00:30:00] off, which is actually the opposite, particularly when it's with loved ones and families.

And I know for myself and also people in the Deep Wealth community, when that topic comes up, we're very open of, hey, be transparent. There shouldn't be any surprises. Treat everyone equal. And if you happen to have some businesses or other kinds of things that really aren't that liquid, As you're getting up there on your journey, well, maybe it's time to liquidate them and keep some things in cash.

I mean, that's a whole other episode or a series, if you will, of, planning and wealth management, all those other kinds of things. But going back to the narrative, and you can share Jeffrey on base or off base, when we have the right kind of narrative with our loved ones, with our family members, when we do it in a right way, when it's open, when it's transparent, when it's not judgmental, it can actually be the biggest gift that we can give our loved ones and those around us.

Amy Cook: Absolutely. I mean, just pulling the veil off of, what's going on. and the key word there is gift, because when we leave things behind, they are gifts and I've seen a lot of, estates and family members that are at [00:31:00] odds, significant odds.

I mean, sometimes everything's fine. Sometimes it's not, if we just have things as organized as possible, we don't really need to worry about that. Because if people are not on the same page and everything's black and white, then there's nothing to fight about. It's the gray area that creates.

To put the issues most of the time where one person reads the same sentence and see something vastly different. So I do think it's kind of a harmonious gift on top of just being a gift.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Absolutely. And as we go through life, particularly towards the latter chapters of anyone's life, we're likely going to be in a different situation and we're hopefully more established and we've now accumulated over time. We've done the right things, hopefully. So from that perspective, how does the money narrative change from, it's no longer just about accumulating.

It's no longer just about achieving. But now it's going to be about [00:32:00] legacy. Now it's going to be about giving. What would you say to that?

Amy Cook: Yeah, that is the transition over time. We go through a phase where we're accumulating, and then we need to make sure that we are accumulating enough to keep our the lifestyle that we want intact and the goals that we have and then shifting into the legacy piece of, what we want to do for the people that we care about the charities we care about and all of those things.

And so there's different stages of planning involved and. And really, the earlier that we address those things, even a lot of people think that, you don't need to look at it until you hit a certain point And I don't have a number to give you because that number would be different for everyone.

Well, that's only for people with a lot of money and a lot of money can mean a different number to different people. I think that it's important to look at those things. And it can be even before you have amassed a lot of money. If you have small [00:33:00] children, you want to have documents in place that tell people who you want taking care of your children, what you want to see happen if you're incapacitated and you can't make decisions for yourself.

So there's decisions that really have nothing to do with money, but simply don't force others to make decisions that they're not really equipped to make because they're not in our heads.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Absolutely. It's, and it is really setting expectations. It's what we should expect, what we should be looking for, what we should be doing, what we shouldn't be doing. And if you look at some of the common sayings out there, I mean, it's not so great. Hey, money doesn't grow on trees or the flip side, earn you keep, or a penny saved is a penny earned.

And the list just goes on and on. And some of them are okay. Some of them are a little bit on the negative side. So it really, it sounds like our mind, from a mindset perspective, it's like a garden. And we need to be very deliberate not to let the weeds overtake the garden and to remove those money narratives, which no longer are serving [00:34:00] us or maybe never even served us.

We just. Picked it up and believed it hook, line, and sinker because someone that we respected or loved told it to us, but it really wasn't the case. Would love some of your thoughts on that.

Amy Cook: Yeah, I completely agree. And it brings up one of my favorite kind of common narratives of on the side where you have accumulated a lot. And there's so many people who feel guilty about spending it. On themselves and it's rooted from some someone or something of, don't want to buy this for myself because that's, I shouldn't do that.

I should save the money. I should keep it aside. I mean, I've seen people that could possibly spend all the money that they have and they don't want to go buy, new appliances. It's that depression era sort of thinking of just, what if it all goes away and holding on to it?

So there's, I think there's balance, whatever stage we're at there is balance and we have to be aware of that because that balance of making sure that we have money in the buckets to protect different things is very important. [00:35:00] But it's also very important to not stick with the same strategy from start to finish because Transcribed by https: otter.

ai Things change life's changes. And as that wealth grows, if you're still holding on to this really, fear that should have left you years and years and years ago, it's time to look at that.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Absolutely. And it's also, I don't know about you, Amy, it seems just sadly in society, we really lost our North Star. As an example, I'll just speak for myself with data point of one. When I see an ultra wealthy person, someone who's really successful, I am so thrilled for them that, Hey, look at this. This person actually did it.

They've earned it. They did what people said couldn't be done. And while the fact that they have this ultra luxury lifestyle, good for them, they can do that. And I've also come to realize it's also relative. So as an example, I'll pick a number. Let's just pick a million dollars. Nice, big round number there.

A million dollars may be a rounding [00:36:00] error for one person. For another person, it can mean everything in the world, and then some. Same number, two different narratives. We'd love your thoughts about that.

Amy Cook: Oh, it's so true. And I am in your boat on that. I mean, I love to see people reach success, hit their goals, exceed their goals. I mean, it's inspiring. And it's so fun to see people, especially in similar industries that are doing things that you want to get to and to have those role models.

But yeah, I mean, it's a relative number, I mean, and it comes down to, what we spend, what our goals are, what we want to achieve and some have much more. Modest goals than others. I mean, I have seen and, teachers numerous times that are in excellent positions for retirement because, they kept saving and their expenses are extremely low and they're in a better financial position sometimes than the [00:37:00] people with millions of dollars.

Their spending is just in excess and there's no way that they can continue at that pace. So, there are, multiple factors, what we save, how much we spend, how much we earn on what we save and so on.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And we'd love your thoughts, it's also a narrative, and so many of us, I feel, could really benefit from this. No judgment when I say that. So much of society is built on, well, if this happens, then that's going to happen. So if I get to this level, then I'm going to feel really happy. Or if I get that promotion, or if I get that raise, then I'm going to do this, you're going to do that, as opposed to Hey, I'm not quite there and that's okay because I'm really happy where I am right now.

And yeah, some great things ahead. But the narrative to myself is I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. I'm grateful for what I have and I'll be grateful for more to come. I'm not going to be negative. I'm not going to be jealous. I'm not going to be greedy. And I know easier said than done. It's called the human condition when we throw all the other factors into that.

But it's really having that gratitude, [00:38:00] having that joy, having the fulfillment of where we are today. Thoughts about that. As

Amy Cook: think that especially for business owners for entrepreneurs, I mean, it's, you know, you're kind of, you set one goal, you hit it and then you're immediately looking at the next one. And it's so important to pause, like you said, and go, well, pat on the back. I did that. Good job. You know, And I know for me, it's really hard to do that.

That's a challenge for me to really acknowledge because you just continue to set goals. And we need to do that. And we also, I think that's why groups like yours and the community you have is so important because there's people that can sort of be each other's, Mentors and can remind each other to pause for a second, be like, you did a great job.

Sit on that for a second, because otherwise what do we do? We just keep going and going and then we die. we've got to enjoy what we're accomplishing in the process.

Jeffrey Feldberg: the saying goes, be in the moment, the past has already happened, the future isn't [00:39:00] here, and that's why the present is a gift. As they say, so cliche, I know, but it's also so true.

Amy Cook: Absolutely.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Let me ask you this, before we go into wrap up mode, is there a question that I haven't yet asked that you want to get out there, or even a topic or a theme that we haven't discussed that you want to share with the DeepAltNation before the wrap up mode?

Amy Cook: I think we covered a lot. I mean, I, the thought coming into my head is just, the reminder that, about the tortoise and the hare, you don't have to sprint through it, just, continue to set the habits to question things that aren't working. Just as needed and, just be aware and look back and see how things are moving over time because success, as they say, you know, the get rich quick overnight.

It typically is a process, you know, and we achieve things by committing to different goals and changing habits and those things create what we [00:40:00] want and more of what we want over time.

Jeffrey Feldberg: I couldn't agree more. And actually, it's a perfect segue into the wrap up mode. Amy, on the Deep Wealth Podcast, it's our tradition, I have the privilege, the honor, to ask every guest the same question. It's a really fun question. Let me set this up for you. When you think of the movie Back to the Future, you have that magical DeLorean car that will take you to any point in time.

So Amy, imagine now, it's tomorrow morning, you look outside your window. Not only is the DeLorean car curbside, the door is open, it's waiting for you to hop on in, which you do, and you're now going to go to any point in your life. Perhaps it's Amy as a young child, a teenager, whatever point in time it would be.

What would you tell your younger self in terms of life lessons or life wisdom? Or, hey Amy, do this but don't do that. What would it sound like?

Amy Cook: Oh, that's a great question. I think that I would go back and, tell my young self, Hey, all these annoying, qualities or annoying pieces about you are going to serve you very well. Give yourself some grace [00:41:00] and pat yourself on the back here and there and don't be so hard on yourself.

Jeffrey Feldberg: I love that. Isn't that the truth? Don't be so hard on yourself. Give yourself some grace. Pat yourself on the back. It's some terrific advice out there. And Amy, before we wrap things up, if a listener in DeepAlt Nation, they have a question for you, they want to speak with you, where would be the best place online to reach you?

Amy Cook: Yeah. So you can go to my website, Maven lane, financial group. com. And then we also have a page it's Maven lane, financial group. com forward slash deep wealth. And happy to connect. There's a scheduling button on the main page as well.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Absolutely. Love that default nation. It doesn't get any easier. Go to the show notes. It's a point and click. It's all there. And Amy, congratulations. This is a wrap. As we love to say here at deep wealth, may you continue to thrive and prosper while you remain healthy and safe. Thank you so much.

Amy Cook: Thank you so much, Jeffrey. This was a lot of fun. 

Jeffrey Feldberg: So there you have it, Deep Wealth Nation. What did you think? 

So with all that said and as we wrap it up, I have another question for you.

Actually, it's more of a personal [00:42:00] favor. 

Did you find this episode helpful? 

Have you found other episodes of the Deep Wealth Podcast empowering and a game changer for your journey? 

And if you said yes, and I really hope you did, I have a small but really meaningful way that you can actually help us out and keep these episodes coming to you.

Are you ready for it? 

The dramatic pause. I'll just wait a moment. Drumroll, please. Subscribe. Please subscribe to the Deep Wealth podcast on your favorite podcast channel. When you subscribe to the Deep Wealth Podcast, you're saving yourself time. Every episode automatically comes to you, and I want you to know that we meticulously craft Every one of our episodes to have impactful strategies, stories, expert insights that are designed to help you grow your profits, increase the value of your business, and yes, even optimize your post exit life and your life right now, whatever you want that to look like.

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So all that said. Thank you so much for listening. And remember your wealth isn't just about the money in the bank. It's about the depth of your journey and the impact that you're creating. So let's continue this journey together. And from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for listening to this episode.

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Thank you so much. 

God bless.