285 Nick Gray

Jeffrey Feldberg: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Deep Wealth Podcast where you learn how to extract your business and personal Deep Wealth. 

I'm your host Jeffrey Feldberg. 

This podcast is brought to you by Deep Wealth and the 90-day Deep Wealth Experience. 

When it comes to your business deep wealth, your exit or liquidity event is the most important financial decision of your life. 

But unfortunately, up to 90% of liquidity events fail. Think about all that time and your hard earned money wasted. 

Of the quote unquote "successful" liquidity events, most business owners leave 50% to over 100% of the deal value in the buyer's pocket and don't even know it. 

I should know. I said "no" to a seven-figure offer. And "yes" to mastering the art and the science of a liquidity event. [00:01:00] Two years later, I said "yes" to a different buyer with a nine figure deal. 

Are you thinking about an exit or liquidity event? 

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After all, how can you master something you've never done before? 

Let the 90-day Deep Wealth Experience and the 9-step roadmap of preparation help you capture the best deal instead of any deal. 

At the end of this episode, take a moment and hear from business owners like you, who went through the Deep Wealth Experience. 

Nick Gray is an entrepreneur and best selling author living in Austin, Texas. He started and sold two successful companies, Flight Display Systems and MuseumHack. Nick is the author of The 2 Hour Cocktail Party, a step by step handbook that teaches you how to build big relationships by hosting small gatherings.

Over 75, 000 people have watched his TEDx Talk about why he hates most museums. He's been [00:02:00] featured in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, and New York Magazine called him a host of culturally significant parties. 

Welcome to the Deep Wealth Podcast, and for all you business owners, you incredibly successful business owners out there, let me ask you this. Would you love, I don't know, to grow your revenues, grow your profits, have some fun while you're at it. And as you're planning for your liquidity event, you're just rocking it out there.

You're able to meet and select the absolute best people that move the dial. And by the way, when it comes to your post exit life, well, you have more things to do than time itself. You've got your momentum, you've got your joy, you've got your fulfillment. What do you think? Does that sound too good to be true?

Oh, I got to tell you, it really isn't. We have a secret weapon that you're going to be learning all about with these incredible strategies, because in the house, we have a business owner, a thought leader, an incredible best selling author. He's been there. He's done that. We're going to hear from him, but let me put a stop in it there.

Nick, welcome to the Deep Wealth Podcast. Absolutely delighted to have you with us. And you know what, Nick, I'm curious because there's always a story behind [00:03:00] the story. What's your story, Nick? What got you from where you were to where you are today?

Nick Gray: Hello, my name is Nick Gray. I'm excited to talk about parties and events and networking and business and entrepreneurship and the post exit life. Story behind the story, I grew up in an entrepreneurial household. My dad was always like a mad scientist type guy trying to start businesses. I had companies in high school and in college that I was trying to start.

But the real first success I think I had was helping my father one of his companies in the basement of our house in North Georgia, helping him hire his first employees and really grow it into a big business. He made aircraft electronic equipment used in small jets and eventually military planes, which is crazy, right?

To think that that could be made in the basement of a house. And I led our marketing and the international sales and our hiring. And we ended up growing that to about 80 employees and sold it to a PE firm in 2014.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Wow. Congratulations with that. My goodness. It [00:04:00] sounds like the mad scientist meets the rocket jet kind of guy all happening in the family basement, which sounds unbelievable, but let me ask you this and you grew the business. You had an eventual liquidity event. Any tips for our community? After all, it's the Deep Wealth Podcast.

We're all about those things. Looking back, Nick, what would you have to share on that whole experience?

Nick Gray: So a year before we sold the company to a private equity firm, I ended up leaving to start my own company called MuseumHack, and that was my next business. And I sold that in 2019 in an interesting way. I did seller financing, and I sold it to the then CEO and marketing director. And ended up keeping 15 percent of the business.

I sold them essentially 85 percent and I kept 15 percent and they did very well. They were much smarter than me, much more skilled and were able to take a core business and really grow it a lot. And someone had suggested to me to kind of keep that 15 percent as sort of sucker [00:05:00] insurance. , and I wanted to still be involved and that was, that ultimately was a very good decision, I think, for all of us.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Terrific. Well, you know what, you were paying it forward. You're helping the company really keep to its vision and its legacy and all those other good things that went along with that. And, you know, at Deep Wealth, we have the saying that whoever said business isn't personal was never in business and never ran a business because no one is self made, we all need a community around us.

And so Nick, you went from the business world and you did something incredibly interesting. In fact, I think, and I called it the secret weapon a little bit earlier. It really is a secret weapon because you wrote a book, an incredibly popular book, The Two hour Cocktail Party, How To Build relationships with Small Gatherings.

and by the way, for our listeners, please go to the show notes. It'll be a point and click. It doesn't get any easier. And what I loved about your book. And we'll talk about that. It really goes beyond the quote unquote cocktail party and parties. And offline, just for our listeners, we're talking about how some people hear the word party and they immediately tune out.

I've got to tell you, [00:06:00] please don't do that because the strategies that we're talking about, they really move the dial on the F word, fun, on success, on profits, on fulfillment, on joy, because every area that you roadmap, growing the business, a liquidity event, your post exit life. It's all about people, the right kind of people in your life.

That's the rocket fuel that has you smiling and has you really enjoying life. So Nick, this incredible system, this incredible book. I mean, what's the story behind the story on that? Did you just wake up one morning and say, Hey, I'm going to write this book or what happened?

Nick Gray: So basically, I moved to New York City and didn't have a lot of friends, I didn't know a lot of people, I wasn't good at social events, and I'd go to these networking events and they would just be so loud and in dark bars and I'd leave not having met anyone I would frankly feel like a loser. I'd feel like I wasn't good at this, like I was just going to never do networking and this [00:07:00] whole thing was pointless and stupid and dumb.

And I realized that it's not that I was bad at it, but it's that I was going to bad events. Events that didn't really, weren't set up to serve the purpose of meeting new people. And that's what I was obsessed with, was meeting new people and really building my network of people that I could be inspired and encouraged by.

To become my friends, ultimately, but also my customers, my clients. I got so much business from this in the end.

So I'm going to bad events. I decided to learn how to host my own good event. I said, look, if I'm going to these bad events, I think I can just do something better. And I started hosting little gatherings in my apartment in Brooklyn, New York, and experimenting with how a good event could go where everybody would love it.

They'd get to meet new people and they'd want to come back. So I think that's one of the key points, is like, could I do a good event where people would be begging me to come back and telling me that they had a really good time? I found the secret sauce to that was that if I could help my friends [00:08:00] meet my other friends.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Mm

Nick Gray: Benefits that the people who attend the party could get. So I started to host events with that purpose. I ended up hosting hundreds of events. I probably hosted like 700, maybe 800 events now, and I wrote a book about everything that I've learned that will teach anyone all my best.

Tips and tricks and how to host your first event so good that people will think you're like a genius host.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And I know in the official introduction, our listeners heard that New York Magazine, they called you a host of culturally significant parties. So what's going on with that? What did happen at the time?

Nick Gray: I think I attract an interesting group of people. Now that I've been hosting so many events, I can invite unique people to my events and they're really... In New York, and I guess even here in Austin where I live now, they become famous as a neat gathering point. By the [00:09:00] way, anyone can learn how to do this.

In your town, you don't have to be like me. You will simply become famous in your local town by hosting a good event. And people will say, oh my gosh, you have to meet Jeffrey, he hosts the best events, or oh my gosh. You have to meet Susan, she hosts these meetups every other month. What I found from helping over 450 people host their first party was that one of the most surprising benefits is after you do two or three of these, people start to introduce you to new people.

The new connections just start flooding in and they're like, wow, I never thought that was possible.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And for our listeners in the book, and Nick, I like how you just kept it really simple. Not to confuse simple with simplicity, because there's a whole art and science that you put into this, but you have three parts. So part number one, you have the basics and you talk about why you're hosting the party, when and where, who to invite.

Even the magic of name tags, which we can talk about. Then part two, you go into the logistics of how you put the party together [00:10:00] and then, well, part three, party time. And you go into that. So for the listener, who's thinking, yeah, you know, Nick, I don't have the time or I don't have a really fancy house or a big home or condo or apartment or whatever the case may be, how should we be rethinking?

how and why should we be changing our mindset on that one?

Nick Gray: I'm so glad you asked because that typically is a limiting mindset that you don't, oh, I can't host at my home is too far away, it's too small, it's not in the right neighborhood or something like that. And I've talked, like I said, to hundreds of people, and I would say for 95 percent of people, their home actually is the best place to host, and I'll tell you why.

Because it is so vulnerable to invite someone into your home. That at the beginning of your hosting journey, you will turbocharge your connections by inviting people into your home. It's also very generous. You know, You don't want to host at a restaurant or at a bar.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Huh.

Nick Gray: [00:11:00] First of all, at a restaurant, everybody's sitting down, and sitting down is the kryptonite for a successful event.

Why? It is so hard to go up and approach seated groups. Once you're sit down, you're locked in. It's very hard to mix and mingle at a seated event. And that's not a dinner party. A dinner party, of course, you can be seated. This is not a dinner party. This is a cocktail party. By the way, I use that phrase cocktail party, but you don't have to serve alcohol.

I don't even drink alcohol. But the phrase cocktail party represents a lightweight social gathering. That everybody understands that the purpose is to mix and mingle and speak to some new people. So that's the event. I think if you really can't host at home, then my best suggestion is, to find a co host to get someone who you can say, Hey.

I'm reading this book or I heard about this guy on Jeffrey's podcast. I want to host this event. Can I do it at your place? I'll do all the logistics. I'll bring all the supplies. I'll set it up [00:12:00] and you get to be my co host. That could work. But again, please read the chapter in my book. I'll include a link in the show notes about where to host your party and why your home is usually the best thing.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And again, I really love what you said because it does go to the whole mindset. You talked about vulnerability, that when someone's in your home, whatever that may be, wherever that may be, that really has you vulnerable. You're opening up. And for our listeners, can you imagine for just a moment? That you're speaking to another member of companies, you're going to be signing on a new company to help you with some services, whatever those services are going to be.

And the owner of that business invites you to one of Nick's parties, but it's the owner, business owner's party. You're there for a couple of hours. You get to see the owner, the world of that owner, the friends and everything else. Now, how does that person stand out compared to the other competition, which is probably very corporate?

They're up there, they're kind of tight lipped and it's a whole corporate protocol that's going on. And it's all those other things that are just boring. Whereas with this other person, you really got to [00:13:00] know the person and the people behind the logo. Can you imagine the power of that? And Nick, I have to tell you, I'm early to bed, early to rise.

And so for me, a nightlife becomes very difficult and I lost all hope, found out about your system, the book, the whole two hours. So let's talk about that for a minute, because it gave me hope where I didn't have that before, because you have the system, you did the heavy lifting, you figured it out. But why the two hours, 120 minutes?

You're very specific and you actually hold to that and you keep to that in your system. So where's that coming from?

Nick Gray: Successful people like you do control their evenings. And the fact of the matter is that as we get older, as we get more successful, whatever you want to say, we're not going out on these crazy bender party nights as much. I think about the most successful people I know. Sure, they have fun every once in a while, but most of the time they keep it pretty tame.

Truth be told, this event is a little more like a networking event than it is truly a [00:14:00] crazy party. Okay? I keep the two hours for one main reason. Well, there's several main reasons, but I'll give you one. It's easier for you to get yeses and RSVPs. Imagine if someone invited you to an event and you're like, well, that's a Tuesday night.

I got to sleep, I got work, whatever. When you show people that your party is only two hours long, that shows that you're serious about hosting. You're going to have more people arrive on time, by the way, because they know if they show up an hour late, they're going to miss half the party. You're going to have people actually thank you the next day for ending on time and giving them an excuse to go home.

It really is one of those gifts, you know, that like, cliche thing that a salesperson will say when they end the meeting early. Well, I'd like to give you back your time, right? That happens when you host a party that is like an efficient gathering. I know it sounds crazy, and I hear from people, they're like, why would I end my party?

Everybody's having such a good time. I say, you want to end it [00:15:00] when things are going well. You want to end on a high note. You want people to be like, oh my god, I can't believe it's over, I'm having so much fun. You don't want people to be like, well, I guess I gotta go home now, the next day, I want people to be inspired and excited and wanting to come back.

So for that reason, we keep it a tight two hours.

Jeffrey Feldberg: We can all relate, we've been to these social events, whatever they may be, and you're looking at your watch, okay, I've been here for however long, when can I get the heck out of here, when's the quickest amount of time still being respectable that I can be out, you know, I've already been here two and a half hours, three hours, I'm bored out of my mind, let's get on with it, so for the two hours.

It sounds like, you know, we're setting up boundaries for people, and at the same time, it also makes, I would imagine, hosting the party so much easier. Number one, it's not going to be costly. We're not really doing a whole meal, like you're saying. Maybe there's some light kind of food or other things going on, but it's not costly, it's not complicated, and it's all about the interaction, the networking.

And so, speak to us about that. So, [00:16:00] behind the scenes, we follow part one, part two, and again, for our listeners, get the book. You can go into details, every one of those chapters. It's a rabbit hole we can go down. It's an episode in and of itself. But Nick, we're now party time. People are showing up and you do something interesting that some people initially are going to say, what the heck is he talking about?

Name tags for everyone? What is this? Back in kindergarten or elementary school. So let's start there. So people are showing up. We have name tags that they're putting on. What's the thought process there?

Nick Gray: So, nametags are a key component of what I call the Nick Party Formula. That's N I C K. N stands for nametags, and everybody's gonna wear a nametag when you host a two hour cocktail party. I'll tell you why. We use nametags because names are hard to remember. And even if you think that you know everyone, Even if you think you know everyone's names, I can guarantee you that not everyone else knows everyone's names.

At a party, a gathering of 15 people, there's, what, [00:17:00] like 150 different possible combinations and relationships there? Name tags make it so much easier for your guests to connect. When everybody knows each other's names, it also levels the playing field. It shows that this isn't just a clicky party with you and your colleagues or you and your neighbors.

Everybody's there with a purpose. They're on the same team. And name tags kind of show that it's a safe space to go meet new people.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And you talk about this in the book. So with the name tags, when it comes to the actual number of people, where's the bare minimum and then when does it just get too much and the sweet spot between all those?

Nick Gray: I think the sweet spot is really between 18 and 23 people. And I'll tell you why that number. Less than 18, I used to say 15, but now I like a little bit more. Less than 15, less than that. And you walk into the room and it just feels a little empty because in two hours you'll easily be [00:18:00] able to talk to everybody.

More than 22, 23, 24, more than that number and now the icebreakers take too long. You as a host really don't have a chance sometimes even to say hi to every single one of those people. For a new host it's a little too big to manage. Now, by the way, for me I've hosted hundreds of parties. My sweet spot today...

Still is probably in the 25 range. So I like the higher end, but I also like the smaller end and what can come out of that. Here's my suggestion for a first time host. It's actually, this is counterintuitive. It's actually easier to host with more people. So it's actually easier to have 17 or 18 people than it would be to have 10 or 11.

And why is that? In 10 or 11, the group will gravitate towards one circle, one conversation group. They're reticent or hesitant to break off into small groups. There's more awkward moments of silence. And it requires more work as the host to keep the conversation [00:19:00] going and make introductions. With 18 people, it's easy.

There's small groups, people are breaking up. You walk in and say, wow, 18 people, I'm not going to be able to meet every single person here. This is exciting. So that's my feelings on the number. So as you can tell, I have a lot of very specific thoughts on these gatherings.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Well, it's terrific. I mean, you've done this, you can literally do this in your sleep. And what's interesting, despite the gazillions of these parties that you've hosted, even your higher end number of people, I mean, it's not that much more than what you've suggested. It's only two people more. Hey, instead of 23 people, I do 25 people.

So there you have it. I mean, this is straight from the trenches. Now, I know when people are arriving and in the book, you go through what to say and how to get people there. And it doesn't have to be all fancy and crazy and keep it fairly straightforward. So people are arriving on time. Now you're very specific because you're saying the first 20 minutes are absolutely critical.

So what's going on in the first 20 minutes. And for our listeners who haven't yet gone through the book, and again, for the listeners, please go to the show [00:20:00] notes, click on the link, get the book, because we're going to have a little bit of a challenge for you at the end of this. But, why those first 20 minutes?

What's going on there, Nick?

Nick Gray: The biggest mistake that a new host makes in the first 20 minutes, just imagine when your first guest comes, and the biggest mistake somebody makes is they say, oh my god, I'm so sorry, nobody's here yet, welcome, more people. That's a total mistake, that's the wrong frame. The correct frame is to say, oh my god, you're the first person here, thank you so much.

for showing up early or showing up on time. Here are some things, would you be willing to help me with some stuff? Here's some things. In that first 20 minutes, you want to welcome people exuberantly. You want to delegate duties. And if it's one of your first parties, you want to practice a little small round of icebreakers.

And that's the I in the NIC party formula. N is for name tags. I is for icebreakers. Now, doing an icebreaker is controversial and your listeners may be rolling their eyes. Icebreakers. Oh, [00:21:00] the reason they may be doing that is because most people do icebreakers poorly or even the wrong way. Having led thousands of them myself, I've found what good icebreakers are, how to use them well.

And so I have strong thoughts, but we'll use those icebreakers to help create new connections and introductions at your party.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And so for the icebreakers, I know you break that down into beginner icebreakers and then advanced icebreakers, even going to some bonus techniques as well, when you're going through the book and about the strategies there, so can you give us a sense of both a beginner as well as an advanced icebreaker?

Nick Gray: One of my favorite beginner icebreakers, and you use a beginner icebreaker at the beginning of an event when there's not a lot of rapport built up. icebreaker when people aren't comfortable yet, exactly. So, what happens with those icebreakers? Generally, you would ask people, hey, let's go around the circle, say your name, say what you do for work, and tell me one of your favorite things that you like to eat for breakfast.

Okay, that, what you like to eat for breakfast, while it may [00:22:00] seem cheesy, I'll tell you why it works. Because everybody ate or didn't eat breakfast that day. It's not hard to think about what you had. It expresses a little bit about your personality,

Also no judgment about your answer.

What we don't want is one of these brain teaser icebreakers, and I see new hosts try to do that.

Oh, what's the most creative icebreaker? Well, you have to remember, half of the people in this world are introverts. They're shy, they may have social anxiety, and you just want an easy icebreaker. So that's an example of a beginning one. My favorite advanced icebreaker, and in fact the one that I recommend people use for every party to close it out

Is, What is one of your favorite pieces of media that you've consumed recently?

That could be a book, a podcast, a TV show, a movie on Netflix, a magazine article you read. What's a great book or podcast or TV show? Some media that you've consumed that you [00:23:00] like. And why do you recommend it? This works especially well for business owners because they surround themselves with interesting people.

And it's hard to know where to get these recommendations from online. We're digitally saturated, but if you hear two people talking about a hot new show or somebody mentions it and they're like, Oh my God, my wife and I love that show. Then, you know, I take it out. I write it down. I save it and I check it out.

People love sharing their media recommendations. I think it's a really good advanced one.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And you know what, from breakfast to your favorite media, talk about getting vulnerable and getting to really know people. And I know you referenced this in the book, but it's so often just taken as a given, it's not going to change that. It's hard to make new friends once you're out of the school system, once you're in the business world.

It's, you know, who, you know, and that's more or less about it. So before we go on to the other acronyms, looking back now with all these different parties that you've hosted, I mean, I can only imagine some of the connections that have been made across the strata with everything on the personal side, on the [00:24:00] business side, any success stories that you can share of what may have happened as a result of your parties.

Nick Gray: Yeah I launched my last company, which was called Museum Hack, on the back of the network I built through hosting events. Museum Hack did these renegade museum tours at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York, and because I had hosted so many events, I had what I call a warm list. People who knew me more than just a random LinkedIn connection, they knew that I did good events and they were willing to come and support me and bring their friends to my museum tours.

I've heard from other people that have gotten job offers. One of the featured case studies in the book is a guy named Tyler in Little Rock, Arkansas, that he moved to this new town, didn't know anybody. Except for his wife and her family, he started to host events in town and a couple months later, got a very senior level job at this startup that's growing like a rocket ship.

Since I launched my book, I heard from lots of readers who have great stories. [00:25:00] There's a guy who got a new job in Chicago. There's this woman whose name is Tatiana in Seattle. She has a business that does stroller mom workouts and some of your nine figure listeners might laugh at that, but it's a very nice business for her.

And she said her business more than doubled after she hosted two or three parties because she was just top of mind amongst her community a lot more. And she got a lot more referrals and mentions because of that. So there's so many success stories. I mean, I'm working on this now. There's nothing that I'm selling on the back end.

There's not like a mastermind program or something. I literally put every single thing I know in this book because these parties really changed my life. And I think we need more in person gatherings. That's what I'm passionate about.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Yeah, you're really paying it forward and post pandemic, and thank goodness the pandemic is well behind us. We can look at it thankfully in the rearview mirror, but life forever changed and we'll leave the better for worse. It is what it is and it seems that coming out of the pandemic, [00:26:00] people want to get to know people.

Well, who's behind that logo? Who's behind that company or what's really going on there? I want to have meaningful relationships. How have you been finding things post pandemic now that we're out there and getting back to the new normal? What does that look like for you?

Nick Gray: I think people are a little bit awkward still. Some people forget to make small talk. I saw a funny thing that said, you work from home people, you need to have a practice conversation before you come into a coffee shop or a cafe, because they either come in super shy and timid, or they're like over the top.

They're like, I saw the coolest thing I want to tell you, I'm gonna tell everybody about it. And they're like, there's no common medium where they're like warmed up, 

so doing a little bit of structure for these parties, adding guardrails, letting people know what to expect. I think post pandemic and with working home that really helps and people appreciate it.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And imagine for the remote work, as it continues to gain popularity, more of a social acceptance, all the more reasons for [00:27:00] these types of get together. I mean, where else are you going to be meeting people? This is a terrific outlet to do that. And as the organizer, you're like that social butterfly in a limited amount of time.

Perhaps you're inviting people, Oh, hey, Nick, I was speaking to Susie who shared your name. She thought you'd be a terrific addition. Here's what I do. I have these get togethers. Would love for you to come here. I get to meet you and on and on it goes time over time. So I would imagine just your own personal network as the organizer just goes and grows and it really expands and adds a richness to your life from the people in it that you're not going to get otherwise.

Nick Gray: It's true. It's exactly right. I mean, the benefits, you can't even imagine the benefits that will come from you. And sometimes they don't happen for several months afterwards.

But I tell you, when you invite people to a party, it's a little gift that you get to give them. And whether they come to your party or not, it's a very powerful way to build, to grow, and to nurture your network of acquaintances or loose connections.

It's [00:28:00] what I think sociologists call weak ties. And we find that the best deals, the best opportunities, potentially the best buyers for our businesses, come not from our best friends, but from our network of these weak ties or loose connections.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Oh, absolutely. Because you're not just a name or a brochure or a resume. Oh yeah, I remember Jeffrey. Yeah. He had that terrific part. Oh, I didn't know. Jeffrey does. Yeah. Let's have that phone call or that meeting with them and let's see what's going there. It's a terrific icebreaker. It just really gets things going.

Now speaking of the icebreaker, to go along with the acronym, Nick, so we've covered the N tag, I, icebreaker. So C, what's going on with C.

Nick Gray: C stands for cocktails or mocktails only. No dinner.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Terrific.

Nick Gray: It's not a dinner party, and I'll tell you the reason why. Dinner parties are actually more complicated to host. They require a finer curation of the guest list. They require about ten [00:29:00] times as much work for the host. Think cooking or catering and dietary preparation and seeding and all these things.

And I found that I could get 80 percent of the benefits of a dinner party with only 20 percent of the work of hosting a cocktail party.

Just imagine, in the time it takes you to eat dinner or watch a movie on Netflix, you can host a cocktail party to connect with 15 to 20 of your contacts. So don't do dinners, because dinners are way too advanced.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Nick, I love you're using Pareto's law, the 80 20 principle. Hey, I'm going to get 80 percent of the effectiveness from 20 percent of the time. And you know what, as people's palates continue to change, we have all these different eating regimes out there, man, it's complicated. You're never going to please everyone.

So you keep it easy. Cocktails, mocktails, love it. Just making it at ease for people and something that everyone feels socially acceptable to be at. And so from the cocktails or mocktails only, no dinners, we go to the K in the NICK acronym.

Nick Gray: The K is kick them [00:30:00] out at the end. It's only two hours long. Now look, anyone could get on your podcast and talk about the best party ever and how to throw it. But to truly be successful at building your network, to truly be successful at creating relationships, you need to learn how to make hosting a habit.

Successful people do repeatedly what others only do occasionally. You need to learn how to make hosting a habit, and when you keep your party to two hours, it gives you time to clean up, to decompress, and it allows you to wake up the next day feeling refreshed and energized, not Oh my God, that was so much fun, but I'm hungover and I never want to do that again.

That's what I don't want you to feel like, so keeping to that two hours is very important.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Absolutely. So it's free flowing. We're not getting bogged down in the complexities of food. We've got the name tags, which brings everyone to the same level. Hey, this is not cliquey. Everyone's welcome here. We're going to be learning from each other. And it's really not expensive if the [00:31:00] listeners are saying, well, geez, how much is this going to cost?

It's not talking thousands of dollars. We're talking maybe even less than a hundred dollars, give or take. I mean, where are you on some of the parties that you've held recently, Nick? Where are you dollar wise in terms of putting it together?

Nick Gray: It's crazy that you asked that. I actually hosted a party a week and a half ago for people that are doing short form video on TikTok and Instagram. I probably spent less than 30 on some seltzers, some drinks, some sodas, and some very basic snacks. And here's the thing. I would rather have someone leave my party hungry rather than bored.

These days, people spend way too much time preparing all the food and they never think about the introductions, the organization, who's on the guest list. So really focus on that, on getting your guest list right. And by the way, for your first party, it should be a low stakes affair. You're not trying to reach up and invite investors, private equity people.

Your first party [00:32:00] should just be your neighbors, your friends, your colleagues. Invite a few different people from a few different buckets that you have in your life. Feel free to have them bring their partners. Do not reach to the top shelf for your first party. You want it to be low stress. Your first party is practice.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Terrific advice. And let's think about that out there. You know, We're in business for the first time. We're about to make the first pitch for someone to buy the business. Are we going to the number one prospect, the top of the top? Of course not. It's family, it's friends. We're breaking the ice. We're kind of learning things with people who perhaps know us or it's low stakes if they say no, not a big deal.

And so same thing with the party. It's people that we know perhaps have more of a comfort level with, get that practice in, and then it sounds like we can expand, but I wanted to ask you. So that recent party that you had. Where you're doing it with creators, and in this case, with video people on TikTok and the like, so it sounds like with the parties, if you chose to, you could do themes in terms of the types of people or from what industries or where they're coming from.

Can you share a little bit more with us on what that looks [00:33:00] like, what to do with that?

Nick Gray: It's really an advance move, and it works for me because I have such a big network. I'll say though, that I hear from a lot of people, they say, oh my God, I wanna read your book. I wanna host it for business owners. Or actually, I heard from somebody who's like, I wanna roll up some HVAC businesses and I wanna host this party as a way to connect with those business owners, so eventually I could make them some offers to buy their company.

What I said, okay, perfect. That's great. I love it. Do that once you really have a handle on just hosting for your friends and neighbors. Because the act of running a room and running a good event, making sure that your icebreakers don't go too long, doing name tags, ending the party on time. That is a art and you can work on it.

It's a muscle that you can build and get better at it. But I would suggest again, just do your first one or two parties as practice. And then, yes, then you can focus it and start to mention in your invitations. Hey, I'm gathering small business owners from across town. Hey, I'm getting other curators together.[00:34:00]

I'm getting other creators, things like that. Then the conversations are even more focused, you have people begging you who want to attend these types of events. I find today, since I've hosted hundreds of events, I do get lit up and passionate about hosting those more curated events.

Jeffrey Feldberg: So practice makes perfect, get the routine down, make it a ritual, make it a way of life that you can literally do this in your sleep and then you can get fancy and, oh, I'm going to have this segment. I'm going to curate these particular industry types or whatever the case may be, but you've got the formula down.

You're very comfortable doing it. You're at more of an advanced level and from experience, Nick, to get to that advanced level, I mean, how many party hostings are we talking about to, get there? The number of them.

Nick Gray: I think you should do two or three normal parties before you start to curate.

And the reason for that is... There are things that you can improve on, things to get better, just to have a better feeling. Generally, when people curate a party, they're reaching out to a lot of new people. And I want you to be a knock out, drag out success.

[00:35:00] Yes, you could read my book today, and you could host your first event, and you could probably do it well, and you could curate it, no problem. But I'm really looking for that, 100%. I want you to really win and crush it. And I think of all the people I've worked with, It's usually people who don't host very often, by the way, if you're listening to this and you're like a pro business owner and you host all the time, you can still get some things from my book that I think will help you tactically and practically.

Cause my book is filled with these checklists and things like that. So I hear from a lot of experienced hosts like, Ooh, I know it's written for beginners, but I learned a lot of stuff too.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And I know beyond the book, there's a vision and the book is really a means to an end for you. I mean, you're helping people, new friendships are being made, perhaps new businesses are being formed. All kinds of wonderful things are happening, but you have Nick, your own KPI, and let's share this challenge with the audience because before we recorded, I said, Nick, how can this podcast be of service to you?

And he said, well, Jeffrey. I have this one in KPI, but I'm going to turn it over to [00:36:00] you. So why don't you share with our audience what you love to see happen? What has you grin from ear to ear when you hear this? So please go ahead and share that with us.

Nick Gray: My KPI is I'm tracking verified party hosts, and I count a verified host as somebody who reads my book, hosts a party, and sends me a selfie from at the party itself, like a group photo selfie. And I keep a collection of those, and many of my readers I get to talk to the next day on the phone. Because I tell people, look, as soon as you set your date and make your page of RSVPs, send me an email and I'll help you.

I'll review the page. I'll give you some advice and tips. What lights me up is it's my goal to get to 500 verified hosts. And I'm excited. I think we need more gatherings like this. We need more in person gatherings. Everybody can use a new friend, whether you use this for business or personal, there's massive benefits to bringing people together.

And just remember, everyone wants to know someone who hosts a great event. Inviting someone to a party [00:37:00] is one of the best gifts that you can give.

Jeffrey Feldberg: It really is. It's paying it forward. And as crazy as it sounds, we are the most connected society ever, yet we're also the loneliest and it just never ceases to amaze me. You hear these studies that are coming out from the mental health perspective and what's going on out there. Nick, this is the antidote.

I mean, you have something, it's low cost, relatively low effort, high reward, high ROI, new friends, a whole new upside. I mean, it's just a win. I don't see any downsides with this.

Nick Gray: I agree. I'd like to think it's win for everybody. You'll find that you can host a good event by creating value for your guests. And it really is a win.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And offline, I'll just let our listeners in on the conversation that we were having. You said, well, Jeffrey, tell me a little bit about Deep Wealth. And I said, well, you know, it's interesting because at Deep Wealth, we focus on three areas, how to grow the business. Putting together the dream team for your liquidity event, having a successful liquidity event and the post exit life.

And as you and I were talking, I was saying, wow, Nick, really the [00:38:00] ability to meet new people, to socialize, to stand out from the crowd, to really cut through the traditional prim and proper, and really get to know people where they trust you because it's an age old thing. People want to do business with friends, not with strangers.

And every one of those three phases, growing profits, the liquidity event itself, the post exit life, your system, the two hour cocktail party, really cuts through the noise and gets the results. And it was exciting. And I know as I first went through it, I was like, wow, where has this been all my life? Glad I found it now.

It's never too late. And that's what led to the podcast. And here we are today with that. So it's something absolutely perfect. But let me ask you this, Nick, before we go into wrap up mode. If there's one thing that a listener could do, so before they go to the next phone call or meeting or email, what would be one thing that they can do to get the whole process moving?

One action that they can take?

Nick Gray: Open your calendar now and look for a Tuesday or Wednesday night. [00:39:00] In three to four weeks from now, look on your calendar, choose a Tuesday or Wednesday night, three to four weeks from now, set that as the date that you're going to host a party, and then you're going to send a text message to five people that you know, what I call your core group.

These are your close friends, your neighbors, colleagues. Send it to each of them, by the way, don't do it as a group text, and send them and say, hey, I'm thinking about hosting a happy hour on Tuesday night, October 27th. From 6 to 8 p. m. at my house. If I do it, would you come? And if you can get five yeses, then your party is on.

My book walks you through every single step along the way. But that's the first step, is to pick your date.

Jeffrey Feldberg: We're leaving the scene, taking action. It's not, Oh, I will get to it one day or tomorrow. Tomorrow doesn't exist. We're doing it now, but it's also low pressure. If the keyword was, if in the text, if I can get a certain number of people, would you come on this date and Nick Tuesday or Wednesday?

I know you talk about that, but for the benefit of our listeners, [00:40:00] Tuesday and Wednesday, we're not talking Monday, Thursday, Friday, or the weekend. So Tuesday and Wednesday, there's a deliberateness about that. But what's going on with that?

Nick Gray: Tuesday and Wednesday are not socially competitive nights.

Socially competitive nights are Thursday, Friday, Saturday nights. Those nights tend to be busier. They're harder to get yeses. It's more likely to have conflicts for people. And so, so much of my formula, the new, the thing most new hosts are afraid of is that they'll host a party and nobody will come.

And so much of the work that I do guarantees that you'll have a full house.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Doesn't get any better than that. And Nick, before we go into wrap up mode, is there a question I haven't asked? Is there something you'd like to share that we haven't spoken about for the listeners? Anything that's top of mind for you that we haven't spoken about?

Nick Gray: That's it. That's it. I think everybody can use a new friend. I'm on a mission to try to help people. So please get my book. I'll include some links in the show notes about how to host a networking event, how to meet new people, where to host this in your [00:41:00] town, if home is not an option, some other case studies.

I'll put those in the show notes, but I would love to hear from people. So send me an email if you want to accept my challenge to host your first party, and I'll help you out along the way.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And for our listeners, everything will be in the show notes. It's a point and click. You don't have to remember all these complicated emails or URLs. And my goodness, Nick is sharing, he's going to have his email out there, and these links, and these case studies, so let's definitely do that.

Now Nick, for the wrap up, I have the privilege and the honor for every guest, I ask this one question, it's a fun question, so let me set this up for you. When you think of the movie Back to the Future, you have that magical DeLorean car that will take you to any point in time. So now the fun part is tomorrow morning, you look outside your window, not only is a DeLorean car there, the door is open, it's waiting for you to hop on in, which you do.

And you're now going to go back to any point in your life, Nick, as a young child, a teenager, whatever point in time that would be. What would you tell your younger self in terms of life wisdom or lessons learned? Or, hey, Nick, do this, but don't do that. What would that sound like?

Nick Gray: I really wish that I would [00:42:00] have taken a year off between high school and college. I think that my education was wasted on my youth. I chose professors that just had easy classes that would be easier for me to get an A. I wasn't too focused on the actual material. Frankly, I was a terrible student. So yeah, I think I'd go back and I'd do college a little differently.

Jeffrey Feldberg: So take a breather, just do the unexpected, live life a little bit, expand and do other kinds of things. Terrific advice. You know what's still applicable today, even as business owners with careers, hey, take a gap year or week or month, whatever the case may be, a sabbatical, whatever you can do just to grow, expand, refresh, and recharge.

I absolutely love that. And Nick, I know we're going to have all this in the show notes. If a listener wants to reach out to you, if they have a question, they want to check in on something, Where's the best place online for them to reach you?

Nick Gray: I'm online at at nickgraynews on all the social media and you can visit my website at www. nickgray. net [00:43:00] or my blog about all things hosting at www. party. pro, p a r t y. pro, p r o.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Said like the pro himself. Terrific. Well, Nick, it's official. This is a wrap. Congratulations. And as we love to say here at Deep Wealth, may you continue to thrive and prosper, Nick, while you remain healthy and safe. Thank you so much.

Nick Gray: Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. 

Sharon S.: The Deep Wealth Experience was definitely a game-changer for me. 

Lyn M.: This course is one of the best investments you will ever make because you will get an ROI of a hundred times that. Anybody who doesn't go through it will lose millions. 

Kam H.: If you don't have time for this program, you'll never have time for a successful liquidity 

Sharon S.: It was the best value of any business course I've ever taken. The money was very well spent.

Lyn M.: Compared to when we first began, today I feel better prepared, but in some respects, may be less prepared, not because of the course, but because the course brought to light so many [00:44:00] things that I thought we were on top of that we need to fix. 

Kam H.: I 100% believe there's never a great time for a business owner to allocate extra hours into his or her week or day. So it's an investment that will yield results today. I thought I will reap the benefit of this program in three to five years down the road. But as soon as I stepped forward into the program, my mind changed immediately. 

Sharon S.: There was so much value in the experience that the time I invested paid back so much for the energy that was expended. 

Lyn M.: The Deep Wealth Experience compared to other programs is the top. What we learned is very practical. Sometimes you learn stuff that it's great to learn, but you never use it. The stuff we learned from Deep Wealth Experience, I believe it's going to benefit us a boatload.

Kam H.: I've done an executive MBA. I've worked for billion-dollar companies before. I've worked for smaller companies before I started my business. I've been running my business successfully now for getting close to a decade. We're on [00:45:00] a growth trajectory. Reflecting back on the Deep Wealth, I knew less than 10% what I know now, maybe close to 1% even. 

Sharon S.: Hands down the best program in which I've ever participated. And we've done a lot of different things over the years. We've been in other mastermind groups, gone to many seminars, workshops, conferences, retreats, read books. This was so different. I haven't had an experience that's anything close to this in all the years that we've been at this.

It's five-star, A-plus.

Kam H.: I would highly recommend it to any super busy business owner out there.

Deep Wealth is an accurate name for it. This program leads to deeper wealth and happier wealth, not just deeper wealth. I don't think there's a dollar value that could be associated with such an experience and knowledge that could be applied today and forever. 

Jeffrey Feldberg: Are you leaving millions on the table? 

Please visit [00:46:00] www.deepwealth.com/success to learn more.

 If you're not on my email list, you'll want to be. Sign up at www.deepwealth.com/podcast. And if you enjoyed this episode, if it added value, if you walked away with some new insights and strategies, please leave a review on your favorite podcast channel. Reviews help us reach new listeners, grow the show. And continue to create content that you'll enjoy and as we wrap up this episode as always please stay healthy and safe.