546 Patty Aubery

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Meet Patty Aubery

Jeffrey Feldberg: Some people build companies. A rarer few help build movements that change how millions of people think, feel, and live. Patty Aubery is one of those people. She started from the spotlight and went on to help shape one of the most recognizable personal development brands in the world. Chicken Soup for the Soul.

From there, she became president of the Canfield Training Group, helped grow a multimillion dollar training company, and built a body of work as the author of 14 New York Times bestselling books. Today through Patty Aubery Consulting, she helps speakers, authors, and trainers turned live experience into message, message into impact and impact into a business that actually lasts. What makes Patty compelling is not just a scale of what she's built. It's the deeper story underneath it.

She's lived the evolution from support role to strategic force, from helping amplify other voices [00:01:00] to teaching people how to finally trust and use their own. Her work sits at the intersection of business identity, storytelling, and courage. Not the kind of courage people post about, but the real kind, the kind that asks whether you're still hiding inside your own success. Patty Aubery has spent decades helping people be seen, which makes her the perfect person to ask what it really costs to say invisible.

And before we start the episode, a quick word from our sponsor, Deep Wealth and the Deep Wealth Mastery Program. Here's Bill, a graduate, who says, the Deep Wealth Mastery Program has transformed the KPIs we're using to accelerate growth and profits.

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Absolutely love that. 

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And I gotta tell you, as I hear these testimonials, this is exactly why I do what I do. My mission, the team's mission here at Deep Wealth, is to literally change the social fabric of society, one business owner at a time and one liquidity event at a time.

The Deep Wealth Mastery program, it's the only one based on a nine figure deal. And that deal, that was my deal. You know my story. I said no to a seven figure offer. I created a system that we now call Deep Wealth Mastery and that's exactly what helped myself and [00:03:00] my business partners welcome from a different buyer, a different offer, a nine figure deal.

So if you're interested in growing your profits, preparing for a future liquidity event, Whether that's three years away or 33 years away, and if you want to optimize your post exit life, Deep Wealth Mastery is for you. 

Please email success at deepwealth. com. Again, that's success, S U C C E S S at deepwealth. com. 

We'll send you all the information about the Deep Wealth Mastery Program, otherwise known as the Scale for Ultimate Sales System. Better yet, why not hop on a complimentary strategy call? We'll see where you are at your business and what's standing between you and your financial independence and your dreams.

So that's where you want to be. You want to be with other successful business owners, entrepreneurs, and founders, just like you, who are looking to create market disruptions, whether you're a startup, whether you've been in business for three or four decades, whether you're manufacturing, whether you're a high tech, SaaS, low tech, whatever the case may be.

Come on in and network with other business [00:04:00] owners, with other businesses, just like you, because they all want to lock in their financial freedom and enjoy both success and fulfillment. Again, the 90 day Deep Wealth Mastery Program, it has your name on it. All you need to do is take the next step. Please send an email to success at deepwealth. com. 

Deep Wealth Nation. 

Podcast Welcome And Setup

Jeffrey Feldberg: Welcome to another episode of the Deep Wealth Podcast. Well, Deep Wealth Nation, let me ask you something. How are you doing in terms of getting your message out there affecting and affecting people's lives? Changing their lives for the better? What would you say if you could hear from someone that has literally changed how millions of.

People think that's right. We have a New York Times bestselling author in the House of Deep Wealth. You heard the official introduction. We have an incredible author, thought leader, and person in the house of Deep Wealth. Patty, I'm gonna plug it right there. Welcome to the Deep Wealth Podcast. It's an absolute pleasure to have you with us.

There's always a story behind the story. I know you have this incredible story. So what's your story? What got you from where you were to where you are today?

From Secretary To Canfield

Patty Aubery: Lots of wine. No, I'm kidding. Depends on where you wanna [00:05:00] start. I started really early in this field of self-help. So I didn't really have a lot of experience before I got in here. And I just knew that when I started I didn't even know about self-help.

I answered an ad in the LA Times that said secretary wanted 25,000 a year, and in the eighties that was a decent amount of money and I wanted to make 25,000 a year. And that's how I started Shallow a Valley girl and wanting to work hard, you know, street smart and fresh outta college I literally did not know what I wanted to be when I grew up. So I answered an out in the paper that said Secretary wanted. I went in for an interview. Turned out it was Jack Camfield. I didn't know who Jack Camfield was. I didn't even know what setting a goal meant. And I interviewed with him. I left, I told some friends.

They said, oh, I've heard that guy's really amazing. Then I kind of wanted the job more because, you know, at first when I met him, I thought he looked like howdy duty. Brown hair and freckles and really hippie-ish a little bit, and then I waited for the call. Waited for the call, got the call, didn't get the job. And was so bummed [00:06:00] and so went and worked with somebody else for a little while. Always kind of a little bit of a serial entrepreneur. I, I get really that cagey feeling. I don't like to be doing the same thing every day over and over again. And then he called back and said, I think we're supposed to work together.

I don't know what it is, but person that I hired didn't work out and you come and meet with me. And I said, I will, but it will cost you 30. And he said, okay. And so I thought, huh he's went to Harvard. He's smart and he's easy, so why not? And that was the beginning. And so in the very beginning we were working with education and we were teaching self-esteem in the classroom.

 and when I got in there, I realized that Jack bees were really low and he had really bad slide. He didn't have slides. He had these overheads using an overhead projector with crayons. And so I came in as the operations person. I upleveled his brand. And by the way, when I did that, I started saying, you need to charge more.

And he said, I just wanna make a difference. I said, good, I just wanna make money so together we'll be better. And that was the beginning of Chicken Soup for the Soul. 

Chicken Soup Breakthrough

Patty Aubery: And very quickly after that that I joined the [00:07:00] team, he came into the office one day and said, I think, people keep telling me that we should put in these stories in a book, but I'm telling them from stage, I think we're supposed to collect a bunch of stories and put 'em in a book.

I said, great, let's do it. When you're 25, you don't have an opinion. You're eager. So we just started. Aggregating stories from all the famous speakers around the world. Put 'em in a book. Took us about three years and we went out, got an agent. The agent went out and talked to everybody on the planet that published books and brought it back to us months later and said, I'm sorry.

I can't sell this book. Nobody wants it.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Wow.

Patty Aubery: Yeah. So that was kind of a bad day. So we said, okay. And then we took the book back and Jack and our partner, Mark Hansen, decided to take it on their own. And we went to a book Expo of America and they had backpacks and I was printing copies and they were passing 'em out.

And everybody there at the book expo said, we don't want you wrong. We actually, I don't know if you know the story, but we parked all of our stuff in a booth at Book Expo, and it was this little company [00:08:00] called Health Communications. And Jack had done a self-esteem workshop for them. So we had called and said, can we park our stuff here?

And so they let us. So we went all over the place and everybody said no. And then on the way out, the convention center, the guy whose booth we were in, Peter Beso, said, Hey, that book that you have, do you want me to read it? No, I could publish it. He owned his own printing presses and had a small publishing company, and Jack said we really want you to want the book.

He's let me read it. So he read it and he called us and said, I love it Now if you'll guarantee 20,000 units sold, we'll publish it. And as desperate as we were, we said, sure, why not? So that was the beginning of chicken Soup for the. 

Scaling The Brand Empire

Patty Aubery: That then took us through, two decades and I became the president of Chicken Soup for the Sole Enterprises.

We published 300 different titles. I managed and oversaw 550 co-authors and 25 to 30,000 contributing authors and 300 marketing plans. And so, you know, I went from secretary, wanted to chief chicken to [00:09:00] semi-retired grandmother, is what I am today. So that's me in a nutshell.

Jeffrey Feldberg: What an amazing story. And for someone in Deep Health Nation, in the very unlikely chance they haven't heard of the Chicken Soup for the Soul Series, what is that?

Patty Aubery: So the first book that we came out with was Chicken Soup for the Soul, the original. And it was 101 stories that were to motivate and inspire you. it was an anthology, and so you could pick it up anywhere and read It was on love, overcoming obstacles, gratitude. We have all these different sections and so that's what it was.

And, I just came across Jeffrey the other day, a letter from the. Senior editor of Warner Books and Warner Books back in the day, it was huge in New York, and it was from 1992. And it said, I'm really sorry, but I've ran this across our editorial team and we just don't think anthology sell. And but if your authors wanna come back and talk to us about reframing the project, we'd be willing to talk to them. And we're like, no, we don't think so. And the cool thing is, and this is for most entrepreneurs, I think, we think these really bad days when that agent gave us that book back.

[00:10:00] That was a really bad day, but a half a billion copies later, 500 million copies times 15% of a dollar 20, which was what our royalty was, is a lot of millions of dollars that we didn't have to give away to an agent in the long run.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And I remember the whole, you call it self-help for me. I just grew up on that stuff, and your books for me were so inspirational. But the story behind the story, what you're sharing with us is absolutely incredible and deep. Both nations, there's so many takeaways here. My goodness, where do we even begin?

Patty. What's interesting is in their own right, Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hanson, wow, incredible individuals. I don't think I'm gonna be stepping over the line with what I'm about to say next. As great as they are without you there to help implement and to help execute well, we may not be talking about the study.

We probably wouldn't be, and it wouldn't be likely the success that it was, and so deep, both Nation, as brilliant as you are as a founder, who do you have [00:11:00] around you for your team members to help take it to the next level? 

Confidence And Team Trifecta

Jeffrey Feldberg: So Patty, you didn't necessarily invent it. You came on after the fact, okay, we're gonna do this, and they already had some momentum going.

Not a whole lot necessarily, but you're new and you're right into the workforce. Where did you get the confidence from within to start slowly proving yourself in rising up through the ranks and, yeah I, can do it. Let's go.

Patty Aubery: When it started, it was just me and Jack and he said, let's start collecting stories. And I said, okay. And. So it was just a new idea, so I thought, why not? Mark didn't come along until way after, so it was actually. Him and I, and then Mark came in and said, Hey, I probably, told half those stories, I should be part of this.

And Jack said, okay. And so it just became this partnership. So if you're out there and you're saying, okay, to a new partnership, be careful because it could be a really long life. I don't know. I had a background in operations. I grew up in a family that my dad was a startup.

he started a company called Nature Made Vitamins with a couple other guys. So that was my weekend job, my [00:12:00] summer job, my holiday job. So I had the grit to do stuff and I had a tech background, which they didn't have. And Mark was a big thinker. Fake it to make it visualize and is realizing you gotta believe it to see it.

It's not the opposite. Jack was an educator. Cross every t dot, every I. And I was like, Hey I'll go ask for anything. I don't care if they say no. What do I have to lose? So you had a really good trifecta with three different types of personalities. when you're building a business, like we all have bad days, but we never really all had a bad day on the same day. And so it, it was a match made in heaven. When you think about 300 titles in 20 years and, selling it for as much money as we made over the 20 years, at the end of the day it was a good gig.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Yeah. And can you share with us behind the scenes, the rejections that you got? No. Who would ever buy this? Never gonna make it. This is not the best idea. But behind the scenes, okay, gotta know here. We're gonna keep on going. And you're creative in how you got this out [00:13:00] there. Willing to go virtually anywhere, even if it was just a few people.

Show up, start talking about this. Have them get the book, or give the book and ask them, spread the word and start talking about it. Walk us behind the scenes for that, because it's very similar to, Hey, I've got this idea for a business. Never been done before. And I'm getting rejected all over the place.

Do I just give up? Do I go back to what I was doing? Do I keep on going at it? So what was it like behind the scenes for you?

Grassroots Marketing Hustle

Patty Aubery: It was fun. Here's the thing. Jack and Mark were both speakers. They were speaking on stages all over the country, sometimes even international. And they were telling these stories from stage. So they had social proof that the stories landed because people were saying to Jack, this is what sparked the whole idea, the very beginning.

You know, Do you have that story in a book? And Jack would say, no. It's on my tapes. And a lot of women would say, I don't listen to tapes. I'm not my car long enough. I read books. And I heard it over and over. So he was responding to feedback. He saw a need through people making comments, and he decided to fill [00:14:00] it.

Because we knew there was a need, because we had tested out the content, we knew we were onto something and we were gonna take note for an answer. That was the first thing. The second thing was once we got a publisher and we decided, okay, we're gonna go do this. We interviewed everybody that had done something well before every published author, whether it was Scott Ptu, God knows who you know, what did you do?

What did you wish you hadn't done? And we made a list of everything anybody had ever done to market their book. And we put it all up on a wall. The wall must have been 10 feet high by 30 feet long. We had stickies on the whole thing, and every day it was like, pull out down a couple stickies and do it.

And so we weren't always talking about stuff. We were actually taking actions. We were making scary phone calls. A guy walked in my office and he was selling B2B, he worked for a company called a wholesale warehouse industries, and they sold ties and boxers and board games and all kinds of different things.

I don't know if you've ever. If you remember this, if you're old enough to remember this, but people would come [00:15:00] into your office building and they would leave something with a page, a paper and say, just fill it out here, and you'd leave your money on this clipboard. And then they would bring back whatever it was.

And it was like random stuff. And so the guy came in, I'm like, hold on, wait, take this book back to your boss. You guys should be selling this book. And the guy was like I don't know. So he took it back to his boss. He, we somehow convinced this guy to buy 5,000 units. He bought the units, they did a test, and the test came in one 10th of 1% below what it needed to be to actually buy 500,000 units.

I still see that guy every now and then he is oh my God, why didn't they say yes? But it was like every opportunity. Wherever I was. How can this book fit there? Jack and Mark, probably, I know Jack would never have said, Hey, wait a minute. Take this book back to your boss. He would've been mortified that I even said something like that.

I would just swap meet to flea markets. I sold books out of the back of my car. I was at nail salons and getting my nails done and thinking all these women are sitting [00:16:00] around here. Waiting to be next or waiting for their nails dry. What if they were reading a book or at my hair salon like they're getting their hair done?

What if I had a box of books here? So I started bringing boxes of books to hair salons, to nail salons. They were selling through very quickly. So I thought what if I just got a whole team of people? And I did what that guy did in my office building all along Ventura Boulevard, which is a big boulevard in California, in the valley where I was living at the time.

So it was very grassroots, it was really rough. we took the ideas that we thought, what if this works? And we just tried 'em. We didn't take an idea and talk about it forever and asked chat GBT and have everybody tell me why it wouldn't work. We just went and did.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Yeah, you just had the gumption to go do that, and you read my mind because that's my next question for you is. Where does that come from, Patty? Because I know for most people it's not even a negotiation, but we're just speaking with someone and people are backing down. I don't want to [00:17:00] ask 'em that, or it'd be rude or what if they say no?

And I know from my end, I was very fortunate. I had my grandmother, a blessed memory. My dad, a blessed memory, my grandmother said, Jeffrey, if you never ask, you'll never know. So always ask. And then on the other side, my dad, he was just fearless and business guy, entrepreneur. And I got to see both of them.

And I just absorbed that like a sponge and other people around me are melting and cringing as I'm asking. I'm pushing the envelope. I had some great role models and mentors for that, but where did that come from? Because it would've been so easy if you say, okay, yeah, you know what? I'm just not gonna cross that line.

I'm here at the hair salon. I'm not gonna bother these other ladies that are here. They just wanna get their hair done. I don't wanna be pushing this on them. But you took a different approach. You didn't shoot yourself down and you just went in with an open mind. Most people either don't want to do that, don't believe that they can do that, but you did.

So what was the thinking behind that you can share with Deep Wealth Nation?

Ask Boldly Reframe Stories

Patty Aubery: I knew I had a good product. And I knew that people were enjoying it and I knew I had a good product because when the book was finalized, I sent it out to 50 people to have them read it before it [00:18:00] went to print, and said, on a scale of one to 10, how would you rate this story? And I would only use stories that were 10 outta tens.

And I had lawyers and moms and nurses and teachers, all kinds of people grading the story. So I really believed in my product for starters, which I think you have to do. So I knew if they got it, they would really enjoy it. And one of the things I believe when you ask for help or you ask for anything, especially like help.

And this is Hey, would you mind helping me get this book out there? That was the gal that owned my hair salon. And so I had to ask her if I could put 'em in her salon. And somebody said to me years ago, what does it feel like when you get to help people? 'cause that's what you do for a living.

You're in self-help. And I said, it's amazing. He said well, how come you never ask us for help? You're robbing us of the experience that you get when you help people. What if we wanna help you? So flip it around and don't just think, oh my God, it's all about me. They're not gonna wanna help me. What if it makes 'em feel good?

Give them a chance to be part of something bigger before you [00:19:00] take 'em out of your whole scenario, and you haven't even given them a chance to say yes or no.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Patty, I love that you're saying that, and I'm gonna date myself as well. You're talking about the Valley and the eighties and the nineties, and I'm right there with you and you're bringing back a flood of terrific memories. I look at my two daughters and the generation that's upcoming. They don't want to advocate for themselves, even to the point that We're in a restaurant and they order something like, honey, why'd you order that? You don't like that? Yeah, I didn't wanna ask the server to change it. I didn't wanna be a burden, or something comes up wrong. Why didn't you say something? Yeah, I didn't wanna be a bother. Or if it comes to myself, it's all wrong.

I'm tell, Hey, you know what? Can you send this back? Can you have it done like this or that? Or I wanna order it a little bit off the menu, like this or that, and they're cringing. While I'm doing that. What would you tell today's generation of, hey, it's okay to self-advocate for yourself and combine that with, give other people the opportunity to help because they seem to be missing something fairly major as how they're looking at life and the world.

Patty Aubery: [00:20:00] First, I would say it's okay to ask for what you want. if I was in a restaurant and I wanted them to modify something, it would be nice if I asked politely and not, rude. But I really think it's important to ask for what you want. Because when we don't do that and we give up ourselves to be liked by somebody or to be accepted, We start to lose ourself and pretty soon we don't know what we like. We don't know what we want. We don't know what we can have. We water it down. The reality is life is what it is, and we're gonna get nos, but there's no reason for us to take ourselves out of the game before the coach puts us on the field.

So in our head, when we tell ourselves a story. mine would be, I don't wanna be obnoxious, or I don't wanna be too excited about this. It's like, well, that's just a story. So what do you want? I wanna be able to get this book out there so it can help other people, so if I reframe it I take my old story that's keeping me stuck or keeping me small. And for women, it's really hard for years. If you said, what do you do? especially if I was with [00:21:00] Jack, which was most of the time, I would say. He's a bestselling author. I would never say I'm a New York Times bestselling author, and I'm 32.

I was like, oh, it's just not in my DNA, it wasn't as a young woman, and it wasn't for a long time. But by not speaking my truth, by not asking for what I wanted even though I was obnoxious, I'd asked for certain things for other people to build the book, I would do it, but it, when it, if it was just my book Jeffrey, it would've been so much harder.

'cause now it's personal.

Jeffrey Feldberg: but how do you get past that personal side? And I get it. Hey, it's not for me. I'm asking for someone else. I don't wanna deny them the opportunity to help. But as of late, it has been with you, and we can talk about that. Hopefully we will talk about that with some of the books that you've done from yourself that you've come out with.

But if it is just about me and it's still early days, maybe it's just me. Maybe there's one other team member, maybe there's not. How do I get the gumption, if I can use that word to

Patty Aubery: I would say you act as if you know, I mean, mark would say to me, kid, fake it till you make it. And so I would just go out and fake it till I made it. I would act as if they're [00:22:00] gonna want it, act as if they're gonna say yes. Look, we're making up a scenario in our head before it happens.

We're saying they're gonna say no, they're gonna think this. We're making that up. So just make up the other side of that story. Create a story that doesn't keep you stuck. Just humor me. If you're listening and literally some story you've been telling yourself about why you're not good enough, why you can't have it, why it's not working.

It's keeping you from taking an action, some story that you have that's keeping you from taking some action that you're afraid to take. I want you to reframe that story and make up a story that supports you taking that action. Step into that new story, into your future, 'cause that story supports your future and go do it and see what happens.

My guess is your body will not explode and guts will not be on anybody's wall. You'll survive it. But it's, taking the risks of asking, of doing, of saying out loud, this is who I am, this is what I do in surviving it. That builds the confidence. We need to continue to go. It's [00:23:00] really hard to build confidence sitting in the back of a room or sitting in a cubicle or sitting at home in your home office talking to cha GPT.

It's by taking action and surviving risks that you're gonna build that, that muscle.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Absolutely love that. And Patty gotta share, you're taking me down memory lane. Once again, I was just getting going. I was asking the impossible. I didn't really know at the time I was asking the impossible. That's I suppose, where ignorance isn't necessarily such a bad thing. Ignorance can be bliss, and it's because I believe in what I was doing.

I was passionate about why wouldn't anyone want to join me in this crusade of what we're doing. It's gonna help people and change lives. But let me ask you this, because oftentimes we get a success and then as I like to say. In today's success are the seeds of tomorrow's failure. It's just human nature.

It's apathy we get, if I can use the word lazy or if it ain't broke, don't fix it. But as an example, you never stop. So I'm gonna randomly throw a few titles out there. Chicken Soup for the Sister's Soul, or Chicken [00:24:00] Soup for the Expectant Mother's Soul, or Chicken Soup for the Working Mom's Soul, or The Beach Lover Soul, or I love this one, the father and daughter soul, or for the Christian Soul, and it goes on and on and on.

So you had the success for the first one. You were even more successful as a group, as you brought it out there with more titles. So what was the thinking behind that? How did you do that exactly? Because most fail at that.

Spin Off Titles And Coauthor Leap

Patty Aubery: It was a fluke. It was a weird situation. The first book that we did with somebody else was Chicken Soup for the Women's Soul. And it was Marcy Shimoff, who's written a ton of books since then, happy for no reason and all kinds of good stuff. And she was at a meditation retreat and couldn't talk, and she had this idea.

I should write Chicken Soup for the Soul. I should present that to Jack. And so I got a fact saying, dear Jack and Patty, I'm in a silence retreat for nine days. Can you meet me on Friday night to talk about this idea at nine o'clock? So we're waiting we meet her on Friday night, she calls us and she says, I have this idea, chicken Soup for the Women's [00:25:00] Soul.

And Jack said, that's a great idea. Thanks. And she's like, wait, wait. Hold on. You're not a woman. And he is like, oh, she's like, so I would like to do that with my partner Jennifer Hawthorne, and the two of us would like to come in and we speak to women, we have the platform, we know the stories. And so Jack said yes.

And at first I was put off, I thought, who's gonna let them come in? This is we're five years in, six years in, from the beginning of inception, and you're just gonna give them an equal share. And what? And he said, why not? I was in that time like thinking, what am I gonna lose out on?

He was evolved enough, thank God to be like, collaboration could create more of something amazing. And so that was the beginning of the first book. And by the way, it sold like hot cakes out the door when my first thought was women buy Chicken soup for the soul. Why would they want chicken soup for the women's soul?

They did but we had to be willing to test it. Lots of times our ideas or our opinions keep us from doing something. Oh, I [00:26:00] don't know if that will work. That's right. You don't know. So unless you test it, you may not grow your business. So rule number one, be open to what's possible. And so when she did that, and then so that we worked on that, got that out there, and then my sister came to work for me.

She was studying for the state boards for her medical license and she said. My mom had been diagnosed with breast cancer. She said, while I'm waiting and we're doing this, why don't we put together a book for Mom, chicken Soup for the Surviving Soul. We can start aggregating all these stories of people that survived cancer and we could put it into a book.

It could become a book. And I said, that's a good idea. this is my job. This is what I'm supposed to be doing. She's yeah. So like other people are doing this, Marcy's doing this book, and you've been working on this project from day one before even Market Johansen was here. So in my mind I wasn't like, why should I be able to write a book I work here?

That was my thought process. And so somehow she was scary enough that she convinced me we should go, do this [00:27:00] presentation. So I got Jack and Mark into a conference room. So we wanted to have a meeting and very reluctantly, I had to ask if I could be a co-author, At this time, I'm vice president of operations for.

Company. Not even chicken soup. There is no chicken soup yet, really? And so I said, we wanna do this book, chicken Soup With The Surviving Soul. And they looked at each other like, that's great, do it just like that. And I'm like, oh, okay. And in my mind I'm thinking, oh my God, they said yes. so I walk out oh, but I almost did not ask for that.

And had I not done that, how had I taken myself off the field or out of the game before I even got a yes or no? It would've changed my entire life. 

Surviving the Ask

Patty Aubery: Instead, that led to me doing chicken soup for the Christian soul and then chicken soup for the expectant mother soul, and then chicken soup with a busy mom soul, and so on, and several million dollars later.

For my family and for myself, my life was significantly different than if I had just gotten the average paycheck for, you know, running this thing. So it happens to all [00:28:00] of us. And every ask is scary. It's sometimes we get really brave and we make that ask and we survive it and they're like, okay, now I'm just gonna go Netflix for a while and get back under those covers, and act like I don't have another thing to do.

But it's really that repetition, surviving the risk. No, I did and, and recognizing in that next big thing, when was the last time I felt scared? When I went into that conference room and I asked for this. But after I asked, how did I feel? Amazing, excited full of potential because I got a yes. So yeah, we're gonna get some nos, but no means next.

And so it's really important to go for whatever it is you want. You're gonna get knocked down, but there's no need for us to bowl ourselves over and knock ourselves down before somebody else on the outside world does it for us.

Jeffrey Feldberg: So there you are. You are probably scared outta your mind. Oh my gosh, should I do this? What happens if it says no? You did the act as if, and so you're eating what you're baking. Absolutely love that. 

Faith and Manifestation

Jeffrey Feldberg: Let me ask you something that may not be talked [00:29:00] about as often as it should be a bit of a personal question.

And that's behind the scenes. How does faith spirituality, some people call it the universe, I call it God creator. How does that play a role? How back then did that show up for you? And what about today?

Patty Aubery: I mean, I believe, and there's always something bigger than this. Back then, the reason I did Chicken Soup for the Christian Soul was from my awareness doing chicken soup for the surviving Soul. That the people that had faith were surviving longer than the people that did it. Bernie Siegel, who was a famous author in wellness and a doctor, he said, 90 percent's attitude, 90% is the faith that they will survive.

It doesn't always work that way. You can't guarantee those numbers, but it was so important. And so my, I looked at my sister and said, we went to Catholic school. Our lives, we grew up Christian, let's do chickens for the Christian soul. And the market was just starting. It wasn't a very big publishing market.

So that just went nuts. It took off like crazy. But I think that [00:30:00] when we show up for ourselves and when we do the hard things and we ask, the universe will support us, it just does. And with Chicken Soup for the Soul, from the very beginning, we practiced everything the secret ever taught.

You've gotta visualize it. You've gotta share your goal, you've gotta have a vision board, have things all over the office. If you're in a bad mood, don't touch the book. I mean, We practiced every self-help tip that you could possibly do for that first book. And that first book sold about 15 million copies. And it was an anthology that everybody said would never sell, did it? Is that the reason? No. Is it part of the reason? Maybe. I don't know. But it works, so I'm gonna keep doing it.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Absolutely in deep both Nation. As we're talking about this, you're saying Yeah, that Mambo jumbo. Hey. Think and Grow Rich to both nation. Remember that book? I'm sure you do. Napoleon Hill right in there. He says something very similar. It's been known for eons that our inner thoughts actually manifest our outer world.

And today, quantum physics, they call it all kinds of different things from the fields, other [00:31:00] types of things. They're confirming everything that we're talking about here. And Patty for the benefit of Deep Wealth Nation. I don't want them to simply say, oh, okay well, they're saying all these positive talk things and doing these things, and 15 million books just showed up.

It wasn't like that. It was one step forward, 10 steps back, five steps forward, maybe seven steps back. It was a journey, but the point is. You had the belief in yourself. You're acting as if you're doing all the right things. You're having the right mindset, and you're helping yourselves through helping others.

My goodness, if that is the best playbook that there ever was for me, that's where it's at and that's where it lands. 

Stepping Into Visibility

Jeffrey Feldberg: So let me ask you this. Because I wanna say it's around a three decade journey that you had, and for most people that would've been enough. Hey, look what I've achieved. I've done what most never have done, and I am successful in the business world, and I have some financial freedom.

I can do all kinds of different things. But you didn't stop there. You then went out on your own and you're now for speakers and authors and [00:32:00] trainers and coaching and helping people from all different walks of life. Talk to us about that. What's behind that?

Patty Aubery: For me, it was really difficult for me to give myself permission to show up and speak up and be seen. I was the Wizard of Oz. I was behind the curtain for years. Nobody knew who I was. It was always the chicken soup guys. And when my mom died several years after she was diagnosed, she said to me, promise me that you'll not hide behind those men.

the three of you built this business together. And I didn't raise a daughter to be invisible. So promise me that you'll show up and be seen. And that was like, whoa. This was, we had sold chicken soup and it was time for me to be a grownup. And so I started to run workshops to teach other women how to show up and speak up and be seen.

And the more that I showed up for them, the more I embodied it. The more I could help them do the same. And when I was really young, I had Jack and Mark, but I didn't have any other women saying, come on, you can do this. Ask for your percentage here, [00:33:00] go for more of that there. I was lucky and I asked for what I wanted, but I didn't even realize I could have asked for so much more.

And so for me now, I love to help. The younger women, those people that are doing startups that are just really getting into this place. Like how do you balance a business and a family? How do you, build a billion dollar brand and raise happy, healthy kids? Like I've been there, done that. I, they're living proof, they're still alive.

They haven't killed anybody, so I'm just really passionate to help others. Be the best version of themselves and have that same cheerleading squad that Jack and Mark had for years, and Jack will be the first one to say. If it wasn't for Patty, I don't think I ever would've done this because I was constantly reminding him, you can do this.

You know, he was always second guessing too. We all do. We're human. But if you have the people around you that believe in you more than you believe in yourself on those down days, you'll go further faster. We need that, so I love to do it and I'll probably do it until I'm gone and I've, my grandson [00:34:00] is gonna be able to say, my grandma's a rock star.

She's still out there taking names, and that's why I do what I do.

Jeffrey Feldberg: It's a great story and it's really being on both sides of that Patty. Of having a purpose and not having a purpose. When I didn't have a purpose after I sold the business, I was the business. The business was me. Those are some of my deepest, darkest days that followed, made some of the biggest, I'm gonna call 'em, stupid mistakes that should not have been made, but too much time in your hands, too many zeros in the bank is not a good combination.

And it took a while to unwind all the not so great things. And so I'm completely with you. And I also know, just anecdotally, a data point of one or two, the people who retire. They seem to have the final exit not long after, versus those that are incredibly successful. They don't need to do it, but they love doing it and they're still here and doing their thing.

Permission Granted Mindset

Jeffrey Feldberg: And so permission granted your book, and by the way, Deep Wealth Nation, go to the show notes. Everything we're talking about is here. It's a point and click. It gets really easy. Pick a permission [00:35:00] granted and go through it. Read it. You'll come out a whole lot better. Talk to us about permission granted. What do you want us to know for someone who's hearing this book for the first time?

What would you say about that?

Patty Aubery: I would say stop waiting for someone to give you permission. People in the world aren't, aren't mind readers. And so it starts with us. I waited for years for people to say, you should go speak to that group. You should go do this. And it wasn't until I said, I want to go do this, until I gave myself permission to tell the truth, to use my outside voice to ask for what I wanted.

That was when the universe really opened up. And if not you, who, and you are worthy of having whatever it is that you want to have that best life. So go give yourself permission to say no to that next thing or yes to yourself, or create that boundary or ask for what you want or say no to what you're tired of putting up with.

Because life really gets good when you do that, and then you can give yourself permission to do it gracefully. And in the beginning it's hard. It's kinda like blah, [00:36:00] but over time you can get more graceful with it. And again, if not you, who so do it. Your life's worth it.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Yeah. 

Advice for Women Leaders

Jeffrey Feldberg: Patty, I shouldn't have to ask this question in this day and age. I'm gonna ask it. I don't make the rules. I'm gonna use another F word offline. We're talking about all these F-word. Another F word is fair, is not fair. You even alluded to it in your story as a woman going through the business world and through society, even back in those days, which aren't that far behind us.

There are some doubts. So when we talk about permission granted now specifically for women in Deep Wealth nation, is there a slight change in the message that you wanna give the women in Deep Wealth nation with permission granted in mind, or generally speaking from your experience as a rockstar who happens to be a woman going up through the ranks and you've changed the world, but what would you say to other women out there?

Patty Aubery: I would just say that you. Surround yourself with other women that will support you or other people that will remind you that you are worthy of doing whatever it [00:37:00] is in your life that you wanna do. I mean, Those stories that we tell ourselves that keep us small or keep us stuck, or keep us playing a smaller game, or discounting ourselves or just stories, and you can ditch those stories and invent news stories that will support your growth and support your future.

They're both not true in the beginning. So use the positive not true one. I am going to be New York Times bestselling author. I was a C student who took seven years to get through San Diego State. This was a pipe dream. I didn't even have the dream, but it was unrealistic for me to have this. I just kept going and I asked for help and I surrounded myself with people that had strengths that I didn't have.

I hired an editor who I went to school with, all the things, it's all possible if you can just reframe the way you wanna go about it. And ditching those old stories is it can be a game changer. Make up new ones.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Nation get the book permission granted. Discover how life changes when you give yourself [00:38:00] permission. 

80 20 Stuck Patterns

Jeffrey Feldberg: And in this kind of scenario, Patty, one of my favorite questions to ask is what some people call Ritos law. If you wanna get fancy or the 80 20 rule, as most people know it. Because in the book, right in the beginning, you ask a really important question, what do I want?

For me? And as we're talking about it earlier, that seems to have been side boarded these days with social programming. And so generally speaking, for the individuals, the people, the founders, the consultants, the regular people, whoever you're helping today, the up and coming authors, the people that you're coaching.

Are there some general patterns that you're seeing? Yeah. Jeffrey, you know what? 80% of the challenges across all the people that I'm helping today, it's coming from the same 20% of these things over here, and these things over here are A, B, and C. Are you seeing some general patterns that you can share with us?

Patty Aubery: I Think the general patterns are as far as what keep us stuck versus what makes us successful. So the things I see that are patterns are, [00:39:00] who am I to ask for that? What if I get a no? All reorganize my inbox before I do this X, Y, and Z, whatever it is. There's so much stuff in today's world that can keep us busy.

But the stuff that is really gonna take us to the next level is going out and making that scary phone call. It's asking for that next gig. It's talking to someone about who you are and what you do and why you do it, and who you do it for in a way that's articulate that it lands so they understand and they can actually hire you or they can refer you to somebody that they know.

So it's the taking action part. Law of attraction is one thing, but the last part of attraction is action. And so we can sit around and meditate and visualize, create vision boards and blah, blah, blah, blah. But if we don't take action, nothing happens. And that's what happens. We're so busy getting ready when the only way to really be ready is to do it.

And there's no such thing as being perfect. No matter how perfect we think it's gonna be, the more we actually do it and take the action, the more we [00:40:00] refine things. So take action. That's it. That's the bottom line in my mind.

Action Over Planning

Jeffrey Feldberg: Patty, if there's one theme that's come out with you and us talking, it's the taking action. I love what you said earlier. Hey, forget about chat GPT, and I'm gonna add a few things, not necessarily your words, and if I'm off base, you can tell me, forget about all these. Excel and performance and formulas, and spreadsheets and business plans.

Just go out there and do it. Try it simple. Keep it as cost effective as you can. Don't blow all your money in one shot. Don't be silly about it, but go out there, try it. Try some experiments, see what the world is saying, and take that feedback. And if you fail, hey, pick yourself up. Go back at it again.

Because it seems that you were just out there doing the experiments, doing the what if, I don't know if this is gonna work, but why not? Let me ask, let me see what the reaction is. And you took that feedback and learned from it, and you kept on building yourself up over time. And that's what built the billion dollar brand.

And the gazillions of books that are now out there and now with what you're doing and helping other people. All those [00:41:00] lessons learned, it's, Hey, just go out there, try it. Don't wait. Don't talk to yourself or on the social media. Just go out there in the real world and start trying. Thoughts about that?

Eat the Frog First

Patty Aubery: Here's the thing I work with a lot of people that. Are doing presentations, whether it's in corporate or they're doing it to a group audience, like an eWomen network, or they're gonna go on a podcast or whatever it is. And again, they can chat GPT it all day long. But if you don't take whatever chat told you and go out and actually present it, it's just not the same.

You can memorize it in your head, you can visualize you doing it, when you actually have to use your outside voice, it's different. And you start to embody it more. And so it's just take what chat gives you, but then go do what that is. You know, I say to chat, don't be nice to me. Be blunt.

Don't worry about my self-esteem. Tell me where I'm getting in my own way. Here's what I wanna do. Here's what I've done so far. What am my next steps? And be brutal. And so when it says, here's your sales [00:42:00] script, go call 10 people. It said this to me yesterday. Go call 10 people in your network. That is where it breaks down. I can write the right copy for my email list, I can post on social media, but those 10 phone calls are gonna get me 80% of my business that fast and I put it off. We all do things like that and it's so simple, Jeffrey. It really is. If we just do the things that are scary, and this is the one thing I tell everyone, do the scary things first thing in the morning.

Do 'em when you're awake and you're clear and you feel like the sky is still the limit and all things are possible. And so my 9:00 AM ideas are literally insanity by 3:00 PM

Jeffrey Feldberg: Yeah.

Patty Aubery: So do the scary things first. If you're building a new company, but you've got your day job, wake up earlier and do those things in the morning.

Don't do 'em at night when you get home from your day job, because at night you're like, forget it. Gimme a glass of wine. I'm done already.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Absolutely. Or as they say, eat the frog first thing in the

Patty Aubery: Exactly.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Do the [00:43:00] most difficult thing first, and then you're eating that frog, Hey, not so great. Don't wanna do that, but hey, look, I did it. Now you're walking on clouds. And Patty, to your point, I find that by 3:00 PM even earlier in the day. My energy, my focus, my clarity, my excitement isn't where it is first thing in the morning.

And so you're absolutely right. The really important things, get that done first thing in the morning. 

Holistic Platform Blueprint

Jeffrey Feldberg: It's a bit of an unfair question. Let me ask you though, so maybe I'm coming to you with your speaker launchpad, or you're helping me with some strategic planning or some coaching, or like you're saying, maybe a keynote or some kind of a speaking platform even around a book that you're gonna be helping me with.

What's your secret sauce? So I'm showing up. Okay, Patty, let's work on this. Here's what I'd like to do. Generally speaking, how long does it take? What's your process like? What can I expect?

Patty Aubery: I start with looking at, tell me everything you've done up until now and gimme a timeline from zero to the age you are today, every accomplishment you've ever made, and then what jobs have you done? And then where do you think you wanna go? And I look at everything [00:44:00] holistically. So I don't say, oh, I have this speaker course that you can come to.

Or I have a course on I do a strategy day on how to help you take a course that you're designing. and a lot of people will say let me help you design a course. I would say, let's sit down and look at, is it the right time for you to design a course? So we can take your content, but should your content be a keynote first so you can get out there and share your message.

Make sure your message lands and get feedback from your audience. And notice in the audience where people are glazing their eyes over, or they might feel lost or you're not clear. Don't go do that course that you think you wanna do because you got 14 different emails or Facebook ads saying, let's help you create a course.

If you don't have a mailing list, I'm gonna say, let's not do that right now. Let's build your audience. Let's get clear about again, who you are. What do you do? Why do you do it? Who do you do it for? What's your message? And then what medium do you deliver it? And then once you deliver it, how are you gonna do it live?

Are you gonna do it a podcast? Are you doing it online? I help them create an entire blueprint because this is a business, unless it's just a hobby, you wanna go spend a lot of [00:45:00] money, you can go do a bunch of different things. But if you wanna invest in yourself that at some point is gonna have a return, then talk to me.

Because I run businesses, I don't build I build people that and then I take the person I'm building and I build a platform. And that is a holistic platform that gives you every step of the way and connect all the dots. So it works for you and it allows you to generate revenue, not so I can make money selling you this course and that course, and this course and that course.

And suddenly you've spent a hundred thousand dollars and you have taken all these courses and you still haven't taken action. That upsets me.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Absolutely in Deep Health Nation. Let me ask you something. When it comes to your business, is it amateur night? Let me use a ridiculous example. It's as though you're gonna file your taxes. And now you're going out there, you're asking around, and here's where it gets ridiculous. Yeah. Jeffrey, I found someone, it's my best friend's, aunts, cousins, second removed.

They've done a little bit of some numbers before. They're really good at spreadsheets. They're gonna help me with my taxes. Or are you going to a chartered accountant, a [00:46:00] professional who does this all day long? Same thing with your business. What are you doing? So when it comes to getting the word out there, building your business up, why not speak with Patty?

She has literally changed the lives of hundreds of millions of people, created a billion dollar brand. You have those kinds of advisors in your business, and if you're answering, no, stop what you're doing right now. Reach out to Patty, ask for some help and get her insight. She's been there, done that, and believe you in me deportation, she doesn't need your money.

She really doesn't. She's already done that on her own, so why don't get some help and see where she can help you, the team, and get things out there. Let me ask you something, Patty, before we go into rapid mode. I am looking at my questions. I've barely asked any of them. It's been such a delightful conversation.

Is there one question, an important question that you and I haven't yet covered that you'd like to get out there for Deep Both Nation or even a topic or a theme? 

Passion Before Profit

Jeffrey Feldberg: I.

Patty Aubery: I think one of the things, if you're thinking about doing a business or someone's asking you to go [00:47:00] in and create a startup or do something. I just would want you to ask yourself, is this something that I'm gonna love to do five years from now? So is it, are you passionate about it or are you just doing it for the money?

And if you're just doing it for the money, it's most likely not scalable unless it's a very quick, to market and you can scale it and sell it in three years. But Chicken Soup was a long-term game. It was 18 years, it was worth hundreds of millions of dollars. But I loved it. I loved working with the different authors.

I love creating marketing plans. I love solving problems. I loved to figure out how to get a chicken all along, like a, wrap it around a big bus and have authors drive from New York to LA and, talk about it. So ask yourself that question. Is this something I really wanna do? And if I do it, what will it bring me?

Will it bring me joy?

Jeffrey Feldberg: Yeah, it's interesting. I absolutely couldn't agree more with what you're saying. Hey, are you passionate about it? I'm hearing you say, Jeffrey, I was really [00:48:00] passionate about this. I loved doing this. And Patty, I can tell you about the time I wanted to be rich, and I thought, okay well, if I want to be rich, I'll just be a dentist.

Was I passionate about being a dentist? Absolutely not. But I said, hey, dentists are rich, so why not me? Some of the worst years of my life, and we won't go into that story. This is all about you. But hey, chase, the passion and the success, the money it will follow. Not the other way around. 

Back to the Future Wisdom

Jeffrey Feldberg: It's such great advice, and actually it's a perfect segue as we head into the wrapup mode here on the Deep Wealth Podcast.

It's a tradition. It's really my privilege, my honor, where I ask every guest the same question. It's a fun question. Lemme set this up for you. When you think of the movie Back to the Future, you have that magical DeLorean car that will take you to any point in time. So Patty, imagine now it's tomorrow morning.

You're looking outside your window. This is the fun part. Not only is the DeLorean car curbside, the door is open, it's waiting for you to hop on in what you do. You're now gonna go to any point in your life, Patty, as a young child, a teenager, whatever point in time it would be. What would you tell your younger [00:49:00] self in terms of life lessons or life wisdom or, Hey Patty, do this, but don't do that.

What would it sound like?

Patty Aubery: I think I would myself back to probably my kids were two and four, and I would be more present because I missed a lot of that. As I, when I'm growing a business, there was times where I had the guilt of I should be at work. And when I was at home, I thought I should be at work. And when I was at work I thought I should be at home.

And so I think that advice would be wherever you're gonna be in the moment, be a hundred percent present and just do it well. Because then you won't miss the memories. For me, sometimes I felt like I almost miss everything because if I wasn't present at work, then I was missing what was going on there.

And it wasn't like during the day it was on a plane, going to a book signing. When I was feeling guilty and thinking I should be at home, I missed that moment of I have made it, I'm going to. I'm number one in the New York Times, you know, so enjoy the moments and be present for those moments because they pass and all you have is [00:50:00] your memories.

Presence as a Practice

Jeffrey Feldberg: You know what Patty are talking about that took the words right into my mouth. That's something even to this day, I still have some challenges with. So having been there and done that. How do you turn it off? And I know you're only human and it probably still creeps in from time to time, but how do you turn it off?

Okay, so I'm over here. It's not a family activity, it's business related. And yeah, I could be at home with my loved ones or my young children, whatever the case may be, but I'm here. So how do we turn that off and actually be present for that business moment? And the same would apply when I'm with the family.

I'm not at the business, I'm not with the team. Oh my goodness, what are they doing? How do I actually really show up?

Patty Aubery: Practice. For me it was a really defining moment when I was on that private plane and I thought, I'm on this plane. I'm miserable right now. You know what? I'm gonna make a choice. I'm gonna enjoy this. I'm not gonna feel guilty. And I had to really make a conscious choice, and it was hard, but when I did it, something changed.

It's snapped. And I was with it. And I always say moments and presence are like diamonds. Do you want a big one that's cloudy and [00:51:00] crappy and has no color or clarity, or do you want something smaller that's bright and shines and has all the brilliance that everybody would love to see? And that's where I'm at, quality is better than quantity on so many levels, and that includes being present in the moment.

Jeffrey Feldberg: Some great advice that is not gold, that's platinum. You're talking about diamonds and precious kinds of things. That's absolute platinum. Deep Wealth Nation. Hope you're paying attention to that. 

How to Reach Patty

Jeffrey Feldberg: And Patty, let me ask you this. Someone in Deep Wealth Nation, they want to reach out to you. They have a question. And they'd like your help to work with you.

Where's the best place online to reach you?

Patty Aubery: Probably go to my website, PattyAubery.com. There's a place that you can click on that says, work with me. You can send me a message or you can find me on Instagram or Facebook as well, and just DM me.

Jeffrey Feldberg: And Deep Wealth Nation. Again, it doesn't get any easier. Go to the show notes. It's all in there. It's a point and click. Patty that said, it's official. Congratulations. This is a wrap, and as we love to say here at Deep Wealth, may you continue to thrive and prosper while you remain healthy and safe.

Thank you so much. 

Final Wrap and Subscribe

Jeffrey Feldberg: So there you have it, Deep Wealth Nation. 

What did you [00:52:00] think? 

So with all that said and as we wrap it up, I have another question for you.

Actually, it's more of a personal favor. 

Did you find this episode helpful? 

Have you found other episodes of the Deep Wealth Podcast empowering and a game changer for your journey? 

And if you said yes, and I really hope you did, I have a small but really meaningful way that you can actually help us out and keep these episodes coming to you.

Are you ready for it? 

The dramatic pause. I'll just wait a moment. Drumroll, please. Subscribe. Please subscribe to the Deep Wealth podcast on your favorite podcast channel. When you subscribe to the Deep Wealth Podcast, you're saving yourself time. Every episode automatically comes to you, and I want you to know that we meticulously craft Every one of our episodes to have impactful strategies, stories, expert insights that are designed to help you grow your profits, increase the value of your business, and yes, even optimize your post exit life and your life right now, whatever you want that to look like.

And every time you subscribe and a fellow entrepreneur subscribe, it's a testament to how together, Yes, we are. We are [00:53:00] changing the social fabric of society. One business owner at a time, one liquidity event at a time. So don't let the momentum stop here. Subscribe now on your favorite podcast channel.

You'll never miss an episode. You'll be the first to hear from the top industry leaders, the innovators, the disruptors that are really changing and shaping the business world, and maybe you're commuting, maybe you're at the gym, maybe you're taking a well deserved break that we spoke all about on this episode.

The Deep Wealth Podcast, it's your reliable source for the next big idea that could literally revolutionize your business. So once again, please hit that subscribe button, stay connected, inspired, and ahead of the curve. And again, your next big breakthrough moment, it might just be one episode away. Maybe it was even this episode.

So all that said. Thank you so much for listening. And remember your wealth isn't just about the money in the bank. It's about the depth of your journey and the impact that you're creating. So let's continue this journey together. And from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for listening to this episode.

And as we love to say here at Deep Wealth, may you continue to thrive [00:54:00] and prosper while you remain healthy and safe. 

Thank you so much. 

God bless.